I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

Oh, my goodness! Where do I begin?! Despite a few bumps along the way my bachelor auction was very successful Saturday night. Although severe thunderstorms and torrential rains kept the crowds at bay, there were still a good number of diehard supporters who showed up to give the foundation their endorsement. I wish I could report that we made tons of money for future scholarships but unfortunately such was not the case. We’re still tallying the numbers but it would appear that we at least broke even, the bills got paid and the endowment fund has a nice start. I’ll take that. I know that we set a standard and that next year it will only be better. I also know that everyone who participated had an exceptional time. My volunteers were extraordinary and the folks who gathered to support us made the experience worthwhile. We partied until the wee hours of the morning and I am still trying to recover. I loved everything about this. I value each and every lesson I learned. I absolute...

I once warned a man not to disappoint me. I don’t take kindly to disappointment. Too many years with a man who had no consideration for my feelings will do that to you. This man assured me I had nothing to worry about, making promises that he swore he could keep. He promised and I warned him. It didn’t take a hot minute before the excuses came. Suddenly what he assured me he would do, he couldn’t. He was apologetic, insisting that had it been possible he would have surely followed through on his assurances. Unfortunately for me, and through no fault of his own, stuff just happened. And just like that I didn’t have an ounce of umph for the brother. Men like him come and go and leaving is the best thing he will ever be able to do for me. I don’t have the time or energy for second chances. Disappoint me once and once is all you will ever have. But no one can say I didn’t give him fair warning.

Mark is a good guy. Most folks would say he is too good, unable to say no when it’s no that he should be saying. At least that’s what his girl Lisa thinks. Lisa’s a little miffed because every time Mark’s ex-wife calls for his time and attention he can’t ever seem to say no. Just this week, the ex needed to borrow something Mark had and Mark almost fell over himself getting it to her. Lisa had some serious issues with this. Mark says Lisa is making too much out of nothing. And maybe it would be nothing if Mark’s ex-wife wasn’t interested in reconciling their relationship. It would most definitely be nothing if the ex-wife had clearly moved on with her life. But the woman is still holding on to hope that she and Mark might make their thing a thing again. I can see where this might be a problem for Lisa since Mark doesn’t want to see anything wrong with it at all. Mark is playing with emotion that doesn’t need to be played with. Give a woman something to doubt and that uncertainty will r...

Karen found herself sitting in a closet while her guy handled business with his ex-wife. Almost three years into a relationship and she is hiding in a closet so that there is no drama with her man’s baby mama. Already fragile, this was the straw that broke her spirit and sent her into a downward spiral. I couldn’t help but remember an editor who was reviewing a story submission. The female character had hit rock bottom and was struggling to find her way in the world. After reviewing the manuscript this female editor wrote back that no self-respecting woman would allow herself to be treated so miserably. I wrote back that no woman knows what she will allow until she is put into a situation that she has never been put in before. All women would hope that they react and do the right thing. Sometimes knowing what that might be isn’t so cut and dry. When that doorbell rang and boyfriend reacted, Karen reacted with him. He pointed to the closet and there she stood in wait. I only had one thi...

Ask and you shall receive! I am in awe of all the incredible people who have stepped up to assist me with my fundraising endeavors and who have agreed to participate in our benefit auction. Donations have been rolling in and my earlier anxiety has been replaced with something so much sweeter. It’s been raining men, and a few women, and I am so excited that I am about to bust! Recently someone asked why I decided to do a Bachelor / Bachelorette auction. And the answer is simply that I wanted to do something different that would make people smile, connect unlikely liaisons and do a whole lot of good at the same time. So what have I learned in Fundraising 101 thus far? That this is going to be a wonderful event. That I may actually pull this off with relatively few glitches. That it may take us a penny at a time to reach the lofty goals I've set but I'm confident that we will get there. That I’m gaining invaluable information to use the next time around. And most importantly, I’m ...

The young brother fancies himself to be a wise soul of sorts. His youthful wisdom has, at times, provoked much thought. His attentive ear and compassionate spirit opens him up to much drama, other people bending his ear for sage advice. I eavesdropped on a conversation he was having with an acquaintance, a young friend whose heart had been broken by a philandering boy. The girl dropped her burdens on the young brother's shoulders enlisting his support and encouragement. Not knowing what to do, if anything at all, girlfriend was wanting the young brother to tell her where next she should turn. "You're a pretty girl," he asserted firmly. "Pretty inside and out, and if he can't see that then he doesn't deserve you. But we don't know what we have until it's gone. Now that you're not there all the time he has finally realized what he has lost. But you can't let one person from your past hold you back from your future. You might run into the per...

Sitting by my grandmother’s bedside I was remembering moments in time when I had more questions than I had answers, when nothing made sense and everything seemed reasonable. She use to sit at the kitchen table, in the dark, drinking alone. I would wonder why but I didn’t dare ask. Her glass would be heavy with the dark umber of a bitter bourbon or scotch, whatever her preference was at that moment. Sadly, when she drank, she could be cruel and I knew better than to incite her wrath. But I couldn’t help but wonder why she drank alone. Sitting there, remembering, I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I was actually surprised when she answered. “You remember that?” “I do.” “Drinking took the weight off.” “I don’t understand.” “The weight of the world. Drinking took it off my shoulders.” “Were things that bad for you?” “Not things, baby. Usually just a man.” “All of them?” “Most of them.” “Enough to make you drink?” “Enough to make me want to stop the train and get off this ride for as long ...

Wow! I am in awe of this place I have found myself in. Double WOW! I have had my hands full for some time now. Finishing two books and meeting my deadlines have been at the top of my to-do list. Putting together a kick-ass fundraiser has also been way, way up there. And then suddenly, drama decided to make a pit stop at my front door. First, I had an issue with a relative. The woman pushed my last button and she doesn’t know just how badly I want to whoop her extremely wide behind. I still might if she doesn’t get her head out of the crack of her behind and recognize that family is about other people and not the world revolving solely around her. My mother defended her actions by saying she is “going through some stuff”. I had to remind my mother that we all are and our relative’s “stuff” doesn’t’ even begin to compare. Our “stuff” got thrown at us without warning. The relative has been picking up her “stuff” by choice and she didn’t have to make the decisions she made. She had options...

It's hard to fathom any loss, but when we lose one of our own, it is particularly heartwrenching. Best-selling author E. Lynn Harris has died. He was 54. Harris was on tour, promoting his 11th novel, 'Basketball Jones,' which involved an NBA player and his gay lover. His personal assistant confirmed that his health had declined but would not provide details as to what caused his death. A cheerleading sponsor and coach at the University of Arkansas and a passionate Razorbacks fan, Harris' books dealt with black gay culture. More recently, the Detroit native served as a visiting professor in the English department at the university.The former IBM executive had just celebrated his 54th birthday on June 20. I had the pleasure of meeting him years ago as he was thoroughly enjoying the fruits of his success. At a local booksigning, in a room packed with fans, I was able to ask him a question, wanting to know his advice to aspiring authors who wished to garner the success he h...

Hattie Joanne Woody October 7, 1945 - July 23, 2007 Two years ago today God called one of his angels home. Mrs. Hattie J. Woody was an incredible woman whose compassionate spirit, no-nonsense wisdom, and firm hand touched many, many people during her short lifetime. Miss Hattie passed away from cancer shortly after being diagnosed and her death left family and friends asking why and questioning what the good Lord had to have been thinking. I like to imagine that calling her home to rest finally gave her peace and comfort that she would not have found here on earth. I like to imagine that in heaven Miss Hattie is being cared for and catered to instead of being the one everyone calls on to fix what they broke like they did when she was alive. Miss Hattie made quite an impression on people when they met her. She was a woman who loved her children fiercely, who freely gave everything she possibly had to give, who never once asked for anything in return and whose simple life was rich and fu...

I listen to a lot of music when I’m writing. It’s like fuel for my spirit, my go-go juice that sets a mood and defines the tone of a story. I’m smack dab in the middle of finishing the last two books of my Stallion Brothers series and it took much music to help me regroup and find my balance to get a feel for brother Matthew and a Stallion family cousin. For those of you who have been keeping up with my Stallion boys, I finished baby brother Luke’s story, LOST IN A STALLION’S ARMS , late last year. It will be released in May 2010. I loved writing every bit of Luke’s story. The boy is twenty-something young and every bit a stallion stud. He is a walking sex machine, bringing much pleasure to the vivacious Joanne Lake, a full-figured beauty who captures his heart. The couple has become one of my favorites to have written about. Tracy Chapman’s 1997 hit single Give Me One Reason was the inspiration for much of Luke's sexual bravado. Then the writing schedule went a little haywire. Pu...

Three years ago today I warned that my blog presence would be one heck of a ride. I could say so with much certainty because I knew that life could throw you some serious curves when you least expected. You all have followed me through the end of my marriage, the death of my child, my writing highs, my publishing lows, and the beginnings of what has proven to be an incredibly beautiful and loving relationship. You’ve read me rant and rave about absolutely nothing and about some things that have been exceptionally important to me. I’ve introduced you to family and friends and have told a few secrets some would probably have preferred I not disclose. But through ever single word I hoped I have entertained you, lifted your spirit as some of you have lifted mine and just been a good time you could slip away to if only for a brief reading moment. If not, if you were ever bored or insulted, tough cookies. Like I’ve said many times before, you do you, ‘cause I can’t do anything else but do me...

Two old people inspired a beautiful love story. Some eight years ago my grandmother was diagnosed with colon cancer. Subsequent surgeries made for a very lengthy recovery. She spent months in a nursing facility struggling to get back on her feet. Within weeks of her arrival she began to get visits from another patient. “The Mister” would wheel himself into her room every morning shortly after breakfast. He’d pull his wheelchair up beside her bed and there he would sit for the rest of the day. They were a strange pair, this elderly black woman and even older white man. And most interesting about the two of them was that they never spoke one word to each other. Not one single word. At first we didn’t know what to make of the stranger who had attached himself to the old woman. But he seemed harmless enough and so we did what granny appeared to do. We ignored him. Family would come and go, moving around the room as if “The Mister” wasn’t there. He didn’t seem to mind, nor did he seem inter...

I’m really starting to think that arranged marriages really aren’t a bad thing at all. There was something to parents sitting across a table and negotiating a union between their children. After all, whether they realize it or not, most times we do know best. SIGH My baby boy has a new gal pal. The girl was sent straight from hell to haunt me. Yes, I said it and I have no earthly intentions of taking it back. Besides, both he and she know perfectly well how I feel about them together. They both know I would much prefer they not be. To say I haven’t bitten my tongue is putting it mildly. This new friendship brought back memories of my oldest son when he brought his future wife home for us to meet. I didn’t like her either. But back then, he was still my baby too, and there wasn’t any girl that he brought home that I was going to take any kind of shine too. But that future Mrs. Mello had great potential under her rough and much-too-young exterior. That son also had a good head on his sho...

Make this a celebration to remember. Stir up some fireworks and have your selves one heck of a good time!

I’m on a diet. It’s not a “lifestyle” change because that’s not what I need. I needed something that would give me a good swift kick in my very wide derriere and jumpstart my weight loss. So my very special friend and I embarked on a “diet”. I won’t say which one because I don’t necessarily condone the philosophy of most “diets”. I will say though that this one is depriving me of the foods I love most and has put me in an evil frame of mind. What keeps me enduring though is my man proclaiming that he will last longer than I will and lose more weight than me. He knows my competitive spirit won’t allow me to back away from a challenge. Not even for the chicken fettucine I’ve been craving like crazy. There is much going on in my life right now. I’ve seriously got my hands full and I am loving every minute of it. First on my list is the benefit fundraiser I’m hosting in August. I’ll give you more on that at a later date. The other biggie on my list is my new company. It’s something I start...

He’d been 13. I’d been 10 and I was head over heels in love. So much so that when he and his brothers were playing Madison Square Garden just weeks after my birthday, my parents purchased tickets for us all to go. At the last minute my father was unable to get away from work. Without a ride those precious Jackson 5 tickets were doomed to go to waste. I’d been devastated until my mother discovered that one of the local churches was taking a busload of its congregation to the concert. Finagling three seats for her, my sister, and I, we headed for New York. This was a true feat because my mother was NOT a bus riding woman. I wore a new dress and was excited when my grandmother volunteered to take me to the hairdresser to get my hair done. That was a first because I hated to go to the beauty shop with a passion but I would have done anything in the world to look good for my guy. I had it all planned out, too. During intermission I would head to the little girl’s room. He would be headed to...

I woke up in a very sweet place this morning, feeling exceptionally loved and blessed. Been tap-dancing ever since. On the way to my office I popped in my Bobby McFerrin/Yo-Yo Ma CD and just skated all the way down the highway. I'm a big Bobby McFerrin fan. And for no particular reason at all this one song made me particularly happy.

Since the divorce and separation I have been introduced to a ton of single men. Well-meaning family and friends have found it necessary to search out every unattached Tom, Dick and Harry for me to get to know, hopeful that something might come from it. Typically, right after hello, and right before the how are you, I know that there will be no connection of any type or kind to be made. On a few very rare occasions I actually meant it when I told them that I was glad to meet them. More times than not though that first introduction proved to be a last encounter. Only a precious few have attained the status of friend. Then I met my very special guy. From day one there was something about his spirit that moved me like no other man had ever moved me before. We’ve been growing together ever since. Despite knowing that there is someone in my life, folks still like to pass me the names and numbers of guy friends they think I should get to know. More times than not I don’t make anything of it, ...

It became necessary to step out of my normal routine to reassess and regroup. I have a major deadline looming and two books due which are in varying stages of completion. Neither is even remotely close to being where they should be but I’ve been distracted. Being distracted had begun to cause me some angst and so I took off to my happy place to spend some quality alone time. Taking time to linger and listen to my inner voice allowed me to find some clarity. Clarity allowed me to answer some hard questions and make some serious decisions. Then I went back to writing, the words flowing faster than I could capture them on paper. Sometimes, taking a step back from well-meaning friends and family can prove to be invaluable. Not everyone knows best. Nor do they always know everything. Frequently, other people’s personal whims and wishes can get all up in your way. That’s why I cut off my cell phone, slipped quietly out of town, and gave myself some much needed breathing room. It’s all good. ...