Tuesday, September 15, 2015

WEEDING OUT CRAZY


Sometimes I need to weed out crazy. Friend requests on social media tend to come fast and furious and truth be told because I’m opening myself and my life up to perfect strangers I tend to be overly cautious. There’s a lot of crazy out in this world. I read every request. I read the About Me page, scan posts, and gaze at pictures before clicking the accept button. I like to see where perspective new friends are from and what they like or dislike.
A recent request seemed normal enough. There were photos of family members, posts and comments from other friends (although the list was short) but overall nothing that raised any red flags. Okay, so maybe that’s not all together true. My radar went off but when I found myself questioning if I was being overly concerned I ignored it. First, he was male, and white, and allegedly in the military. I should have followed my first instinct but I have a number of really great white, male friends and in that moment he seemed to be on the up and up.
The messages started almost a month later. It was a simple hello and how are you and then they became more persistent. So I asked the cut it off quick question and our last exchange exposed the crazy.
Me: What’s your end game?
Master Chief Petty Officer Micheal Scoot Williams with the United States Navy from South Heart, North Dakota responded, “Marriage.”
Me: Well, I already have a husband and I’m not in the market for another. But I wish you good luck with that.
Scoot: Huh, Deborah, you have pretty name. I mean no arm. I respect woman. I want we just get to know each you.
BIG RED FLAG – One of the highest ranking officers in the United States Navy does not have command of the English language.
Me: Again, I’m not interested.
Scoot: I nice man. We would be good. I like how you sound. You seem nice.
Me: Look, Skippy, Scooter, whatever your name is I said I’m not interested and I’m definitely not interested in being friends with a man who clearly has no respect for another man and his wife.
Scoot: What you say? You make no sense. I am good person. I love woman and good to them. You are being goofy! I am honorable military man.
DID THIS FOOL REALLY SAY GOOFY?
Me: What ship are you on?
Scoot: Military war vessel.
Me: Let me try this again. US military ships all have names. What’s your ship’s name or are you on the good ship lollipop that's special and it doesn’t have one?
Scoot: No, it’s not special.
Me: This is ridiculous. I’m done. Good luck with your life.
Scoot: What? You are being…I am going home. You are crazy!
Me: You’re correct. I am crazy. Crazy for entertaining this BS for as long as I have. Get a life. You have been unfriended and will soon be blocked. Enjoy your life.
It’s doesn’t take a brain surgeon to know that Scooter was up to no good. Scoot is taking his catfishing to a whole other level. And revisiting his posts, a few women have actually fallen for the sad lines. I wouldn’t be surprised if Scoot is sitting in some rubber room in some far off country, hoping against all odds, that he can smooth talk some desperate soul out of her life savings.
And that’s why it’s important to weed out the crazy!