I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

Dear Debby is taking a break today and maybe next week too. I'm looking for advice for myself as I try to maneuver my way through a long standing problem that has resurfaced with a vengeance. It's far easier to be an outsider looking in at someone else's problems than it is to be smack dab in the middle of your own mess. And although I welcome words of wisdom and all the advice I know good intentions can offer, I ultimately know that I am the only one who can decide what is best for me. So while I figure out what I need to do for Debby, I imagine there's little advice I'm going to be able to offer anyone else. Until the next time, take care of yourselves!

Dear Debby, I have the responsibility of caring for my elderly father. He suffers from lung cancer, congestive heart failure and poor circulation because of diabetes. His prognosis is not good and recently I had to arrange for hospice. My problem is my brother and sister. Both are giving me grief that I am trying to rush daddy to his grave. Neither has stepped up to help me but they both question every decision I have had to make. Currently, daddy is kept medicated to keep him comfortable. My sister has called everyone in the family to tell them I am keeping him drugged to destroy the last few months he may have. I'm emotionally exhausted and tired of fighting with my family. I love my father and I don't know what to do. Can you give me some words of wisdom or help? First, my hats off to your for stepping up to the plate as you have. I know from personal experience that caring for an elderly family member with no support takes a lot out of you so I applaud all your efforts. You...

Dear Debby, I really like your blog. I have a quick question since you write a lot about relationships and romance. What does love feel like? I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Thanks. First, thank you. I appreciate the support. Now, I don’t know that I can tell you what love feels like, but I can certainly tell you what it shouldn’t feel like. Love should not hurt. And I don’t care what anyone else says, there should be no pain associated with love. I personally think to believe otherwise is a load of crap. Love should make you giddy with joy. It should make you feel that anything is possible. When you know true love you want to be more than you have ever imagined yourself being. You work to be a better person overall. Love should make you feel valued. It should never leave you questioning your choices or feeling that you are less than the extraordinary creature that you are. Love should be about everything that is right and good. When you find that special person, you’ll know it’s...

Dear Debby got tangled up with a love story and the question posed had me pondering a response. It was a question that required me to consider my own personal values. And I have to admit that it touched a sensitive nerve. Wesley and Denise have worked together for many years now. The duo became fast friends realizing quite quickly that they had much in common and shared many of the same goals. Neither ever imagined that they would share anything but friendship but as time has passed, both have discovered growing emotions that neither was prepared for. And because Denise is married both have been conscientious about not overstepping the boundaries that exist between them. It is not in her nature to be unfaithful to her husband, nor is it his to covet another man’s wife. Out of respect for each other and their respective families, neither has ever fully vocalized how they feel or what they may want to share with the other. But both have imagined what it could be like if they were able t...

Dear Debby, You really are a little full of yourself, aren’t you? I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now and I’d like to know what makes you qualified to do this? Actually, I’m a lot full of myself. I would hope that every woman gets to that point in her life when she is confident in her strengths, understanding of her weaknesses, and generally comfortable with the person she has matured into. I’m there and that alone allows me to be as full of myself as I damn well please. Now, the better question is what makes me unqualified and why should I not do this? I have the right to share my opinions, my thoughts, and my stories, as I’m so inclined. You have the option to ignore me or not. This is like TV – good and bad. If the program offends or bores you, change the channel. Dear Debby, My best friend is in an abusive relationship. I have seen her boyfriend yell and scream at her and call her names many times. He’s extremely jealous and has to know where she is all the time. I hav...

My apology for the delay but folks was all up in my way this week. As a result, I've decided that the Dear Debby column will run on Sundays. It seems to fit the schedule better for the moment. Enjoy! Dear Debby, I feel like my family and friends are walking all over me. For years I have helped my sisters with their children, buying gifts over the holidays and such, but not one of my sisters ever did the same for my kids. When my sister’s husband was sick this year I called her every day to check on her and her family to see if there was anything I could do to help but when my husband had a stroke, no one called me regularly to check on me. Am I wrong to feel the way I feel? No, you are as entitled to your feelings as the next guy but whining about your feelings doesn't serve any grand purpose. It sounds like there are other issues eating away at you. First, you feel like everyone is walking all over you. Understand that people will only do to you what you allow them to do. If...

Welcome To Dear Debby ! I was going to do this twice per week but I've decided to just see how it goes. So for now, Dear Debby will run every Friday. Do you have a pressing question you want to ask, a problem you want to air anonymously? Click the link in the sidebar to email me. And let's not forget the required legal yada-yada. This is for entertainment purposes only. Dear Debby, My sister and I are not close. Nor is she close to anyone else in the family. Historically she will come and go from our lives as the moment moves her. She has never held down a job for longer than a few months. She has had three husbands that we know of and gave up her only child for adoption without asking the family for help even though she knew any one of us would have taken the child in. This last time she stayed away for almost three years then showed up unannounced as if nothing had happened. Our father died this past year and she was not at the funeral, claiming she couldn’t get a flight hom...

A friend recently suggested that I start my own advice column. I'd initially dismissed the thought, but have since reconsidered. I remember reading Dear Abby and Ann Landers growing up and thinking that in all their efforts to be politically correct there were times when they just needed to tell the writers to get a life and stop bitching and whining about crap. There are folks who continually seek out my advice and I think it’s because I have no qualms about telling them to get a life. I don’t have time to sugarcoat stuff. Besides, too much sugar coating usually taints the message and the person in need is so busy getting high off the sweet that they fail to get the substance of the advice all together. The more I've been thinking about the idea, the more I'm inclined to say, what the heck, why not? Of course, my Dear Debby column will just do what I do best: shoot straight from the hip after the appropriate warnings for one to duck. Sage advice is truly not for the...