I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

It was a random post that landed in my Facebook feed. It read ‘ What I've learned this year: He who angers you...controls you.’ I read it once, twice, and then again and it struck a nerve, the depth of it unexpected. Recently, I’ve had to interact with my former husband on a too regular basis and those interactions have reawakened feelings of hostility and bitterness that I’ve not felt in a very long time. For days now I’ve been ruminating over the past. I found myself caught in a vicious cycle of being angry about things that I swore I’d gotten over and moved away from. Then being angry about new behavior too much like the old bad behavior. The wealth of it has been upsetting and I've wrestled with how to let it all go and move forward from it. As I read that Facebook post it was as if the author knew what I was struggling with most. Feeling like the ex-hubby suddenly had control over my life again with all the burden and heartache that control represented for me

My weekends have been all about bowing to the whims of other people. Plans are made, schedules agreed upon and then out of the blue my son wants to throw a wrench into the process and I am asked to bend and twist and conform to what he needs and wants, and my schedule be damned. In the past I would acquiesce because it was easier to do so than not. But today, I said no. No. When one considers that I’ve never before said no, his reaction was both expected and shocking. He didn’t take no lightly. Mommy didn’t give in to his request and he threw a tantrum, complete with kicking and screaming. I would have been impressed if he’d been five years old, but he’s thirty. His initial reaction was surprise. He was not expecting that I would deny his request. Then he became belligerent because him screaming profanity at me was supposed to move me to change my mind. It didn’t. In fact, all it did was get him hung up on. So, he changed tactics. Because in his mental illn

I currently have temporary custody of my youngest granddaughter. The pretty princess started kindergarten a few weeks ago and suddenly I find myself back in elementary school hell. Navigating school schedules, doctor appointments, dance classes and all the stuff raising a six-year-old entails is the stuff of retirement nightmares. I’ve been reminded why people should have children while they’re young and able-bodied. Midlife parenting is for the birds. But as history has proven we grandparents do what we need to do. We step up, fill in the gaps and we shine. This week I attended the elementary school’s Open House and sat in a PTA meeting. It’s been some twenty-plus years since I felt obligated to do that. There I was, in a room full of young parents giddy with excitement about their offspring’s academic journey. They have no clue what’s coming. Having six kids, all now adults, I’ve been down this road a time or two. I wanted to warn them this isn’t the picnic they think it w

GET YOUR COPY NOW! Amazon: http://bit.ly/ClutchOL Nook: http://bit.ly/ClutchNook The ONE LOVE Short Story series has become one of my favorites to write. Each story is different, pushing me outside the box of what others expect me to write. The focus for each story has been character development. Fleshing out the unique personalities on the pages of each book has challenged me and I love that it has allowed me to stretch my creative juices. To dig deep inside myself as the stories come to life. So it is with great pleasure that I announce the release of the third book in the series. CLUTCH ! Calvin "Clutch" Williams, worked me! I hated the first draft/story. So much so that I trashed that version, delayed the release date and sat in the unknown of it for months. It was not the story I was supposed to tell and then just like that Clutch took hold of me and shook me hard. The words flowed like melted butter after that. The book is a short, quick, sweet, and dir

I went on a date! With the hubby! It’s been ages since we had a real date night. Health issues, timing issues, deadline issues, and princess issues have been all up in our way. But I was reminded that adults need to take adult time to appreciate each other, and adults in a relationship need to take time with each other to remember why.  Big Daddy and I went to UNC-TV for an exclusive, intimate In Studio concert by country music sensation, Rissi Palmer . Think MTV’s Unplugged. The performance was being filmed as a local complement to the next Ken Burns documentary, Country Music .  I can’t begin to tell you what a spectacular time we had. I’m a huge Rissi Palmer fan so for me this was a dream come true. It was hard to contain my excitement and not come across as a crazed stalker! But she was a sheer delight with an incredibly welcoming spirit. Y’all know though, that in my crazed fan mindset, she and I are now the best of friends! Some of you may remember my POST about R

I started this blog thirteen years ago today. It feels like a lifetime has passed since my very first post . Since July 16, 2006 I've written about my divorce, a new relationship, graduations, grandchildren being born, illnesses survived, and milestones accomplished. Back then I had the body of a twenty-year-old and now I have a head full of gray hair.  I don’t blog nearly as much as I did when I first started. And not because I don’t want to because I do. I sometimes still feel like my hands are tied, the things I used to write about, not things I can still share. Or things that anyone would be interested in reading. That’s just me being in my own head when I don’t need to be. But this space is still my go-to spot to rant about absolutely nothing, where everyone knows I won’t bite my tongue if I decide to spew about something important. Writing has become a chore of sorts. In all honesty, there are days that I’m not sure I still want to do this. There are also days w

REUNITED BY THE BADGE Book 3 in the TO SERVE AND SEDUCE SERIES Coming October 1, 2019 PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY NOW! REUNITED BY THE BADGE AMAZON: https:// amzn.to/2IWQuM1   BARNES&NOBLE: http:// bit.ly/2xgHRVV   KOBO: b it.ly/2YrxDxy A megacorporation starts killing patients... And two exes must reunite to save lives! When he discovers his patients' lives are threatened, Dr. Paul Reilly can turn to only one person: Simone Black. She will have his back, even if they don't agree on much else. But as the former lovers work together to track down the evildoers who are tampering with medications, they rediscover unexpected feelings for one another...even as an enemy wants to silence them permanently. 

I continue to struggle with my son’s mental health situation. I’m tired of being blamed for his failings. To hear him tell it I am the root cause of all his mental health issues. Me and the catastrophic relationship that was my marriage to his father. What he “endured” in our home is why he struggles now.  I hear the blame, the castigation fueled with bitterness and I find myself unable to comprehend what the hell he is talking about. Clearly, my memories of his childhood and his memories are very different. With each hateful word I find myself questioning where I went wrong. What did I do to have failed him so miserably? We have yet to have that conversation where I’m given any specifics. I hear his words and feel like a deer caught in headlights, blinded with no understanding that makes any sense. His wife routinely calls me out of my name, her disrespect so abundant that I could compile an entire ratchet novel with the text messages that are meant to be hurtful. Beca

It’s been a few years since I last read the book 72-Hour Hold by late author Bebe Moore Campbell. It’s a fictional story about a mother grappling with her daughter’s severe mental illness (bipolar disorder) and the tribulations of navigating a woefully inadequate mental health care system. The story, grounded in some hard truths, was based on the author’s personal experiences with her own child. I remember the wealth of emotions that book took me through as we followed the heroine’s desperate efforts to help her baby girl. I can still vividly feel the pain she felt as she grieved the loss of their mother-daughter relationship. The fear, guilt and hopelessness were tangible. So were the barriers they faced. The stigma surrounding mental illness, the mistrust of the medical community, and that black community culture that said problems at home should remain there, only to be discussed around the family dinner table on the second Sunday of the month, were very real. It was a

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DON'T MISS THE TEMPTATION! Searching for the truth proves dangerous to his heart... TEMPTED BY THE BADGE Book Two in the series, To Serve and Seduce! Amazon   Barnes & Noble