I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

Felicia was beating herself up, feeling selfish because a man had given her five minutes of his time and she had wanted ten. He’d favored her with one kiss and she had wished for two. She was feeling selfish and guilty for wanting more from the man she loved with all her heart. Felicia couldn’t read between the lines when she wanted to share and her man said no, or hemmed and hawed his way out of responding to her requests. Felicia took his silences and distance, believing that it was okay for him to be busy with other things and other people when he didn’t ever seem to want to be busy with her. Felicia needed to catch a clue. Felicia never stopped to consider that she deserved whole days and not just a few minutes of her man’s time. She never stopped to think that her man should have wanted to shower her with kisses, and hugs. Felicia couldn’t fathom that she deserved more from the man who claimed to love her. Felicia didn't understand that she should have demanded better than her...

I’m learning how to conduct a fight in a relationship. Damndest thing I've ever had to learn to do. When I was married, fights were typically these horrendous verbal assaults complete with name calling, hate-filled utterances, and accusations of wrong doing. Too frequently things (my things) would get thrown or broken with my home left in complete chaos. I would usually be left a blithering mess, sobbing until I was physically ill and unable to function. It would take me days to recover and it would sometimes take weeks for the relationship to return to some sense of normalcy. My very special friend does not “fight”. He "discusses". There is no name calling, nothing filling with hate, no accusations. He makes his point and he moves on. Done and finished with the issue. Meanwhile I’m still readying myself for the blowup, feeling completely out of sorts when all is said and done. Only once was I reduced to tears and only because I was so frustrated by not being able to navi...

Much of my childhood and most of my adult years were marked with incredible disappointment and much heartache. “When things change…” became my mantra, the words spoken more times than I care to remember. Catastrophic change came twice in my life. The first time was when I entered my marriage. I was seventeen. The ex-hubby was considerably older. I was running far and fast from an abusive situation that I didn’t believe I could tell anyone about. I ran to where I believed things could be different. I entered the marriage for the wrong reasons at a point where I had yet to discover a single, solitary thing of value about myself. And change came. But it was nothing like I imagined or wanted for myself. I endured for over twenty-eight years in a relationship that became toxic to my spirit. I found myself existing and not truly living my life. Toward the end I was a mere shadow of the woman I knew I could be. And so I fought tooth and nail for change. Leaving my marriage was the second cata...

Y’all want the good news or the bad news? Based on history I presumed my next book would be released the earlier part of next year. It made sense to me most especially when agents and editors had to give me a swift kick to get them the manuscript ASAP and they got it. Today, I reconfirmed my release date ‘cause y’all have been emailing and asking and I’ve been telling you February 2009 because that's what I was led to believe. But today I was corrected. I was told that the next Stallion book would be released in May, not February. At first I was like, okay, three additional months, no problem. Then I reread the message. May 2010, not 2009!! That’s right, two years from now May. I got this explanation about schedules and things being completely booked for the 2009 year and the excuse list goes on. So, unless something changes, it would now appear that there will be a full two-year window between my last Stallion book and my next Stallion book. Maybe it's just me but I feel lik...

Do you think it's chocolate all the way through?

Trina was sitting in this very nice restaurant, enjoying a very nice meal when she was suddenly consumed by an overwhelming sense of sadness. The emotion hit her like a tidal wave and before she knew it tears were streaming down her face. Trina had no words of explanation to offer her companion for her sudden mood swing. The man was taken aback like most men who hate it when a woman seemingly cries for no good reason at all. The two had been talking about family, hers and his, and life in general, and out of nowhere she was devastated by a sense of loneliness and despair. Trina regretted the display of emotion, hating to have her friend see her in such a state, especially when she herself was having such a difficult time making sense of the moment. In general, women are forever holding back their emotions. Expressing our true feelings is reserved for rare moments of solitude. We cry in the shower where no one will know, or scream at the top of our lungs while sitting in a closed car in...

Well, bless my sweet Martha Stewart, I have seen everything now, and much more than anyone really should have gotten a gander at. You have to wonder what this poor girl was thinking. Better still, I want to know what her new mother-in-law was thinking! If nothing else, the girl has some serious stones, and that's a good thing because I don't imagine the new hubby's brass pair are functioning at all... My, my, my, my, my....

In the ninth grade we were required to take a second language – French or Spanish being our only choices. I desperately wanted to learn French. My father insisted I learn Spanish, refusing to sign the permission slip for French. Back then I had absolutely no use for Spanish. I thought it common. French, however, embodied the sultry, exotic lifestyle I dreamt of one day having. Today, my Spanish is good. I can read it and write it and on occasion, hold a semblance of a conversation in it. Speaking French, however, still remains my secret longing but “ bonjour ” and “ Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? ”, are the extent of the vocabulary I know. Many years ago I was blessed to be able to travel internationally. I spent a few nights in Paris, courtesy of that hotel-owning company I was employed with. My command of the language was exceptionally limited and the French are not overly considerate of Americans who cannot converse in their native tongue. None the less I still held onto my ...

An old friend is having some relationship issues. He and the wife seem to have lost their balance with each other. Both brought two kids into the marriage. The wife is adamant he be a father to hers but she’s not much willing to be a mother to his. When they wage battle the wife tends to exacerbate the problem further by denying her man sex. She also tends to use her feminine ways to manipulate things she does or doesn’t want to happen in her home. My brother has hit a wall of sheer frustration. The wife crippled his last nerve when in the throes of passion, while trying to avoid mussing up her new hairdo, she looks over her shoulder and asks him if he’s going to be there much longer. Seems there was something coming on television that she wanted to see and taking care of his needs was interrupting her flow. With one swipe of her tongue the woman annihilated the man’s self-esteem. His partner in crime shook his head listening to him complain. Buddy-friend has never run into that proble...

Sharon’s Mr. Right would seem to have become her Mr. Right Now. The good as gold personality who’d captured her heart is now good and tarnished. And Sharon can’t figure out when it all went bad. Explaining the situation proved to be more of an emotional journey than a recall of exact instances. Sharon says what they currently share feels very different from what she use to feel. She insists that there is no longer any joy in Mr. Right’s eyes when she walks into a room. “He doesn’t get excited about seeing me,” she exclaimed in a small voice as if she were afraid someone might hear her. “We don’t spend any time together,” she extolled, reflecting back on the last time they’d made love. She shook her head when she’d run out of fingers and toes to count on, more days having passed them by than she was wanting to admit. “I never have his full attention,” she mused wishing away the other things and other people who seemed to have more of him than she did. “We listen to each breathe more tha...

I recorded the Presidential debates last night. I was just too tired and too unenthused to watch them. I may watch them later today. Then again I just might pass. I'm actually more interested in seeing Palin and Biden go toe to toe. And I say all this as I sit here remembering just how much I use to actually hate politics.

Okay, so let me get this straight. Suddenly, the economy is a mess. Folks can’t pay their bills and businesses are folding. I’m sorry…let me step back and clarify that…RICH folks can’t pay their bills and multi-billion dollar businesses and banks are suddenly folding. NOW the powers that be recognize that there is a problem with the economy. But no one was much concerned when average Joe was down on his luck with no job prospects, mortgage past due, and the collection man biting at his heels. Now, the boys on Washington Hill are tossing ideas around to fix this mess but they’re having some issues coming up with a mutually agreeable plan of attack. Right now the plan they have has us po’ folk bearing a $700 billion dollar tax burden to fix this mess. Our Presidential candidates decide to weigh in with their two-cents. Obama calls up McCain and says, “Hey, Johnnie, I think we should issue a joint statement to let the people know we’re on their side. We should show them we’re both committ...

It is the opinion of my very special friend that a mother can prove to be a male child’s greatest liability. It seems that we are quick to excuse our baby boys’ bad behavior and we can be much too tolerant of their idiosyncrasies. He and I have had this discussion many times, me arguing that such is not true. Regrettably though I find myself having to own that estimation and it is killing me to have to do so. I have raised five male children. I have to acknowledge that my parenting skills changed considerably with my youngest son. My baby boy didn’t get the same “tough love” his brothers experienced. The love he got was no less than theirs, but he was clearly spoiled more than them. That lack of “tough” love has not served him well. After the success I’ve seen my older boys attain, I was not prepared for my baby boy to cause me any angst as he approached adulthood. I was not prepared because he was a model child, never causing me an ounce of grief. But my child is now causing me much a...

Last night I had one of the most stimulating movie experiences that I’ve had in a good long while. Tyler Perry has done it again with his newest release, The Family That Preys . This movie had me on the edge of my seat, talking to the screen. Y’all know how some of us can do! The Family That Preys is a story of family, friendship and betrayal. Legends, Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates play Alice and Charlotte respectively, two strong-willed friends and very Southern matriarchs. Both have children with some serious issues. Charlote’s son William played by Cole Hauser wants to steal away his mother’s control of their high-end construction firm. Alice’s daughter Andrea played with absolute brilliance by Sanaa Lathan is on a quest for the good life, looking to run fast from her humble upbringing. Andrea is less than satisfied by her stuttering, country-boy slow, construction-worker husband Chris (Rockmond Dunbar) and his many get rich quick schemes that lead to nowhere. Preying on opportunit...

When you’re just minutes away from a deadline and you realize that you’ve completely botched the details of your storyline, it’s not pretty. In fact, it’s downright ugly, you get uglier and ugly starts raining down like a hurricane in severe weather mode. That’s where I’ve been for the past week. But ugly didn’t prevail and the fix came in the guise of a man whose calm, rational approach forced me to be calm and rational as well. Once that mess was cleaned up nice and pretty and the sun was shining and life was good again I found myself back in relationship mode. I’m navigating this couple thing. I was operating under the assumption that I knew how to be one half of a couple. I mean, really, after 28 years with the same man you figure you’ve made enough mistakes to have learned some valuable lessons and with that experience you know what needs to be done. Right? How wrong I was! Somewhere along the way someone changed the rules and I’m quickly discovering I don’t know how to play this ...

"America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise - that American promise - and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess." Barack Obama's acceptance speech left me with a sense of civil responsibility and empowerment. A candidate who is genuinely interested in the well-being of Americans. How refreshing is that? If by some remote chance you missed his speech last night, then click HERE . It's well worth the effort.

I imagine that the job of being the First Lady of the United States must be a bit daunting at first. It’s not like it comes with a clear cut job description. It does of course come with some exceptionally high expectations. When you consider that the First Lady must not only validate her husband’s character, but also her own, then it certainly makes sense that the journey to acceptance is not always easy. Michelle Obama has become a very public figure and has accepted the role of aspiring First Lady with sheer grace. She has also accepted the uncomfortable scrutiny that comes with that responsibility. Since her husband announced his candidacy, she has taken some serious flack. I bet the conversation between the two to make that decision, as well as the subsequent conversations as the last few months have unfolded have been quite interesting. For some time now she’s been hit by a wave of unflattering and sexist media portrayals. Critics have called Michelle everything from unpatriotic t...

A good friend sent me this quote. It came at the right time. I pass it on hoping that it will move someone else the way it moved me. I pass it on as a reminder that there is always hope. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so that eventually you learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things falls apart so better things can fall together. --Marilyn Monroe

It’s good sex. I mean really good sex! I’m not having it but my characters are. My third Stallion brother, the young, virile, 25-year old is rocking the sheets like there is no tomorrow. If y’all thought that brothers John (To Love A Stallion) and Mark (Tame A Wild Stallion) had it going on you haven’t read anything yet! Brother Luke has his girl changing religions and talking in tongue and all the while feeling like she is a queen sitting on top of the world. When I first started writing romance, those sexual encounters were a challenge. Over the years I’ve learned to let myself go and in the process, let my characters go as well. The writing came much easier after that. So, brother Luke is having himself one heck of a good time. And Joanne Lake, the story’s heroine, is much enjoying the fruits of his labor. And I'm so darn excited by it all that I just had to post and tell you!

Deanna’s memories don’t seem to be everyone else’s memories. And Deanna is now questioning if she’s the crazy one in her family. Deanna and her mother had a bitter argument. Her mother said some pretty hateful things. Deanna said some hateful things back. Their memories of Deanna’s childhood are two vastly different memories. Her mother claims it’s her daughter’s evil ways that twisted fact into fiction. Deanna understands the truth will destroy the illusion of the perfect parent that her mother fathoms herself to be. Deanna doesn’t deny that she was loved. But she also accepts that she was not liked. Her mother didn’t like her. Her mother’s disregard began when her child was very young. Her mother’s issues took precedent over her daughter’s well-being. Deanna’s mother would claim to know everything about her daughter but their argument proved she didn’t know anything at all. Deanna has chosen to walk away from the memories, and her mother, in order to keep herself whole. Their argumen...