Sunday, June 01, 2008


I was hoping to spend some time with an old friend today since my very special new friend was unavailable. In fact, after a brief discussion about doing just that I adjusted my schedule accordingly, looking forward to the old friend and I catching up over a quiet afternoon of doing absolutely nothing but enjoying the companionship. It’s been some serious time since the two of us have been able to spend quality time together.

In anticipation of spending time with my old friend I turned down an invitation to spend the afternoon with someone else. The man who’d asked me out was a man I would have probably had a great time with. I would have enjoyed being in his company but I said no because truth be told he wasn’t a man I wanted to spend any serious time with. I really wanted to spend time with my other friend much, much more.

As can happen with even the best laid plans my tentative ones went completely awry. So now I’m spending my Sunday afternoon alone, seriously pondering some of my choices. Unfortunately my friend stood me up for a better invitation. Someone or something else was more important to him. Doing something with me was easy to dismiss because our plans were only tentative anyway. In fact, it wasn’t like we really had any plans at all, just me being wishful about something I had wanted.

By the time I realized what I’d hoped for wasn’t going to happen it was too late to reconnect with my first invite and disappointment had put me in such a funky mood I know I wouldn’t have been good company anyway. And now I’m sitting here alone, catching up on my writing, trying to decipher which of my granny’s life lessons I’m going to take away from this experience. I can almost hear her now, chanting in granny –language about a man in the hand being worth more than no man at all.

If today taught me nothing else, it taught me this. I will never again pass up an opportunity to enjoy the company of a friend who is truly enthusiastic about spending time with me for the possibility of spending time with a friend who doesn’t seem interested in spending time with me at all. And, I can only hope the guy I turned down isn’t sitting home alone, feeling as bad about my choice as I am because I’m feeling really bad right now.

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