I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

In 2009 my beloved grandmother battled her way back from severe pneumonia, proving that some doctors don't always know what they're talking about.  After days in intensive care, she and death butted heads and death turned tail and ran in the opposite direction.  That time wasn't her time, the old bird proving that a fighting spirit can surpass the insurmountable.  Sadly, death came back for a second try and this time he won.  Yesterday, the old woman took her last breath shortly after midnight as I sat by her bedside, holding tight to her hand.  Although I called myself prepared for the inevitable, I was ill-prepared to wish my dear granny goodbye.  And despite the depths of my faith, God's will was clearly not my will. My heart is broken now that she is gone and I have to wonder if it will ever again be whole.  Next week we will celebrate her life and wish her a final farewell.  And although my beloved grandmother could be a prick...

This past Thursday I arrived at the nursing home to find my grandmother a semblance of her usual self.   She has been hospitalized ever since, our family sitting in anxious vigil by her bedside. On Friday morning, a compassionate emergency room physician sat toe to toe with my father and gently told him that our matriarch was dying.   He warned that with her rapidly failing health there would be some difficult decisions that would have to soon be made.   In that moment I instinctively knew that despite our mutual concerns for our loved one, we would be a family at odds over those decisions. Despite my continuous struggles with my faith, when it comes to death I have always trusted that God knows best.   Even as a little girl, the prospect of death did not scare me and mostly because my beloved grandmother too frequently intoned how blessed we would all be on the other side.   I can still envision those promises of an eternal Eden and even now I believe tha...

Yesterday I watched a young friend who was struggling with what to do for the new love interest in his life.   His female friends were bombarding him with more ideas than he could comprehend.   As he stood in line at the mall, having selected what everyone else perceived was the perfect gift for his girl, he suddenly had a change of heart.   Nothing about the gift reflected who he was and what he stood for.   Nor did it speak to the relationship he had and was wanting with his companion.   He asked for advice and I told him to keep it simple.    I reminded him that it was more about them being together, sharing time and space, and capturing memories that would last her a lifetime, whether they remained partners or not. One of my most memorable Valentine’s Days was my high school honey who convinced me to skip Spanish class and steal away early from school.   He’d packed a picnic lunch (turkey sandwiches, Cheetos, brownies, and bottles of ...

God called his Angel home today, To lead the comeback choir. To lift her voice in adoring praise, And still the flames of hell's fire. He called his Angel to his side, Having missed her gift of song. And now she'll sing like once before, Having found her way back home. Rest in peace, Whitney Houston August 9, 1963 - February 11, 2012

He was a man of means who led a simple life.   And despite the jobs he may have done, or the titles he might have held, he was first and foremost a father and a husband.   And it was what he did in those two roles that will be the most lasting vestige of his life.   He was a man of great faith, respecting the high priority God put on his role as a husband and a father.   And it was what he gave to his family that defined the enormous impact he had on those who loved him best.   His success is evident in the children that carry on his name.   His sons and daughters understand the value of an education and the importance of hard work.   They know sacrifice and persistence, possessing impeccable work ethics.   And they know that family and their unwavering faith in God has been the cornerstone of all their accomplishments.    They live the lessons their father taught, passing his wisdom down their family tree. His daughter ...

I eavesdrop on a lot of conversations.   It’s a bad habit of sorts but eavesdropping on some verbal exchanges helps me determine how some of my characters may or may not interact with one another.   It gives me material to pull from when I have to write those verbal interactions.   Today, as I shopped my favorite store, I couldn’t help overhearing an exchange between a group of young women.   Young being old enough to know better.   They were lamenting men and fathers and sperm donors---  "baby daddy" being the term of choice.   One of them was bemoaning her boyfriend’s other lover forcing her child into the neat little package that was now his life.   The current girlfriend had issues with him and his responsibilities.   One of her friends had the audacity to comment that were that man stepping up to the plate to be a decent father and take responsibility for the child that was his child, then that b...

It was a rough start to the day.   A wild night left me with little sleep.   Then my rest was disturbed by the loud thump of a teen’s rude stereo.   Crude rap should not be the first sound heard on a beautiful Sunday morning.   To make up for it the kid gave me ten minutes of gospel and I was appeased.   Then the day improved significantly.   I caught up on some writing while the men were off doing men things.   It was quality alone time.  Then I was in the mindset to go prowl the stores to buy myself something pretty.   But it was cold outside and I don’t like cold.   So I decided instead to stay inside and make a pot of homemade soup.  I  made the meatballs first.   Ground beef with just the hint of breadcrumbs and an egg, then seasoned to perfection and rolled into picture-perfect orbs.   While those were browning in the oven I caramelized an onion in my cast iron soup pot, adding a crushed clove of garlic,...

  “Hot damn!” she cursed, swimming back to where Malisa now stood.   “When are these people going to put some heat in this water?” Malisa laughed.   “You know it’s cold for only the first few minutes, Mama.   They’ll have you sweating up a storm before you know it.” Miss Etta grunted, rolling her eyes.   Before she could comment further the familiar faces that made up the early morning class dropped into the water to join them. Malisa and her mother both smiled and nodded their hellos as people began to greet them.   Both women didn’t miss that Irene Hill was the only one who didn’t have anything to say, not even bothering to look in their direction.   Miss Etta had had just about enough of Irene’s rude behavior and it wouldn’t take much more for her to say so, she thought.   “Let me tell you a story,” Miss Etta started, leaning against her daughter’s shoulder.   “Now we done told you a dozen or more times about how your Daddy and I ...

It doesn’t seem possible that it has been four years since I introduced the Stallion men, the four billionaire brothers out of Dallas, Texas.   Oldest brother John Stallion’s story was the first, told in my book, To Love A Stallion .   Since then two additional brothers and a cousin have had their stories told. I really loved the first two brothers.   John was like a fine drink of wine on a summer’s night when Marvin Gaye done got you hot, buck naked, and thirsty for something you didn’t even know you needed.   Then came brother Mark in my book Tame A Wild Stallion .   Mark was more rum punch in the desert heat with Wyclef Jean guiding your shimmy, and a hard body grinding you at your best friend’s blue light basement party.   Brothers Mark and John I liked very, very much! I struggled with the next brother.   He was the baby.   By the time I finished Luke’s story, Lost In A Stallion’s Arms , I was feeling him more but with his youthful exub...

This list of "wisdoms" came to me in a chain-mail from a friend in 2009.  They moved me so much that I revisit them on a regular basis and with each New Year they've become my mantra as Father Time bows out and Baby New Year rolls in. This past year was one hell of a year.  There isn't one moment I regret, not even those that were drama-filled and absolutely unnecessary.  2011 brought me immense joy, much love, and the lessons learned were life-invigorating.  Abundance came in ways I had only imagined and if 2012 manages to be one-third as prosperous and productive then I can't wait for it to get here! So, please, take these wisdoms in and savor them a moment. Hopefully they'll move you as well.  I wish you each a very happy and prosperous NEW YEAR! WISDOM FOR 2012 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. 3. Follow the three R’s: Respect...

From our home to yours, have a very Merry Christmas!

So, it’s raining and the temperature has nose-dived some twenty degrees from last night’s low.   I’ve been nursing the last remnants of a migraine for a few days and now I feel a cold coming on.    My favorite guy made me a special hot toddy to nurse the cold away and I was headed to bed to feel better when the doorbell rings.   The doorbell rarely rings after eight pm unless it’s an element of crazy come to stir up some drama.   But low and behold it was our neighbors, and their holiday choir, come to practice their caroling at the bottom of the steps. I stood in the doorway, wrapped in a blanket, as they serenaded us with a rendition of Silver Bells and then Silent Night .   Then the rain got the best of them, running us all back inside.   I’m in bed now with my favorite cuddle toy and that hot toddy is beginning to cure everything that might have been ailing me. But it was a simple serenade that made it feel a lot like Christmas, and...

One of the single greatest blessings in my life is my relationship with my father.   As a little girl, he was my idol, the first man I loved and he set the standard for all the men who later came into my life.   As a little girl I thought that he could do no wrong, the sun and the moon rising and setting on everything that was my daddy.   I was his Baby Girl , the nickname that not even my younger sister could usurp and it represents an understanding that he and I have had between us that continues to cement the bond we share today.   My father and I have had our moments, and there were many that were not good.   I wasn’t always the good daughter he would have liked me to be, but even at my worse, I remained his Baby Girl .   From the moment I drew breath he has been the parent who has most controlled and manipulated my life.   When I rebelled, he was the first to let go, insuring that I learned some very difficult lessons the hard way.   A...

It’s well past my bedtime and I’m up baking cookies.   I can’t sleep and baking cookies makes me feel better.   And I need to feel better because I’ve had myself a day. Every family has its fair share of crazy hanging from the family tree.   My crazy decided to visit, planting their branch right in my living room for five hours longer than I could tolerate.   Had I been able to leave I would have.   But since it was my living room there was no place for me to go and crazy was having far too much fun wreaking havoc on everyone’s sanity to get the hint that they’d worn out their welcome.   Too much crazy taxed my last nerve and I snapped.   My Zen aura was all discombobulated and I was well on the way to kicking crazy right in their too wide ass.   When crazy pushed my very last button I responded with a resounding F*ck you!   Crazy responded with their own choice words.  I’m not proud of my own bad behavior or my potty mouth b...

The holiday weekend is winding down.   We’ve eaten leftovers from the leftovers, no one even wanting to think about another slice of turkey or spoonful of stuffing.   Now we’re squabbling over who gets the final few slices of chocolate pecan pie and who snuck the last almond cookie, leaving the empty plate still covered on the countertop.   It was a delightful holiday and a great weekend.   There was much quality time with my favorite guy, a ton of fun with family, and catching up with old friends.   We enjoyed good food and some really decadent desserts so tomorrow it’s back to the gym.   There was a surprise marriage proposal, an early baby delivery, unexpected gifts, and the completion of my latest book.   I couldn’t have planned a better holiday if I’d tried.  I hope everyone's holiday was as magnanimous. I have had much to be thankful for.   My blessings have been many.   It’s been a very good year.

Despite the sudden cold weather and rain, today was another really great day.   I had a wonderful lunch event at the Wake County Express Library in downtown Raleigh, NC.   It was a small, intimate group and we had a great conversation about books and writing.   After a wonderful meal (antipasti, chicken & gnocchi soup, and vegetable lasagna), a really good bottle of red wine (Cavi Roscato Rosso Dolce) and an incredibly sexy dinner companion, I came home to get my reality TV fix with the XFactor results show.   And now I’m a bit perturbed, so much so that I’ve been a tweeting maniac on Twitter tonight.   Finally think I have the hang of it with all the practice I’ve been getting! Was I surprised by the bottom two?   Yes and no.   Was I disappointed by the outcome?   Yes and no.   What really galled me though was the attitude of the young contestant Brian Bradley, who calls himself Astro. Now, don’t get me wrong.   I ...

So, what are you doing for lunch? I'm reading from, and discussing my books in downtown Raleigh, NC this afternoon, from 12:00pm until 1:00pm. I'd love for you to join me! Wake County Express Library 336 Fayetteville Street Raleigh, NC  27601

I have never considered myself an outdoorsy-type.   It was out of character for me to commune with nature if there were buggy-things around.   The family tells many stories of my summer adventures on my grandfather’s   South Carolina farm when I’d throw tantrum after tantrum if something even buzzed by my ear.  My appreciation for nature came as a result of my baby boy who preferred the outdoors over everything else.   From the moment he was able, he would often rise early, head out the back door and disappear into the woods that bordered our property.   He’d scavenge things that intrigued him and then bring them back for me to identify, explain away, or just be in awe of.   Soon I was trailing behind him to scavenge my own treasures.     Discovering the outdoors through his pale grey eyes was absolutely enchanting, even with the bugs.  Hiking wooded trails was one of our favorite past times.   We trekked a mountain side tog...

Rap legend Heavy D, whose real name was Dwight Arrington Myers, one of the most influential rappers of the 1990's, died earlier today. He was 44 years old. His massive musical hits included Is It Good To You , The Overweight Lovers In The House , Big Daddy ,  and my personal favorite, Now That We Found Love .  He also wrote and performed the theme songs for In Living Color, MADtv, and The Tracy Morgan Show.  Drawing on a promising acting career he'd made appearances in brief movie and television roles including Life, The Cider House Rules, Boston Public, Living Single, Bones, Law & Order: SVU, and most recently, Tower Heist. As Kelley L. Carter reported for MTV , "Heavy D was the big guy who could move. His size never stopped him. He moved in ways that intimidated the slimmest dude in the crowd.   He was smooth, dapper and celebrated the around-the-way-girl through song; his music helped soundtrack 10th-grade da...

I come from a praying family.   Most of my kin stand firmly grounded on a foundation of faith, unyielding in their belief in a higher power.   For a very long time I struggled with my own faith, unsure of what I believed in, determined to find contradiction in everything I’d been taught and was being told.   When I finally opened myself to what I could not see and began to trust in the power of prayer, life changed drastically for me.   I suddenly found solace when I let go and let God. Recently, I’ve been challenged and my spirit has been in crisis.   With things I’d been most confident of, I’ve not trusted my intuition.   I have felt my faith wavering and I have not been able to pray.   A few years back, I bumped heads with a woman I admired, respected, and thought of as a dear friend.   With my feelings hurt, believing that no true friend would have done to me as I felt she had done to me, I’d closed that door of friendship, deeming her...