I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

My best girl friend sent me a card once that read, "Fall seven times and stand up eight." For many, many years I carried that card with me where ever I went. It was a great source of inspiration through some difficult times, some rejections, and more moments of wanting to just give up and not give a damn than anyone cared to count. A while back I secreted that card away, knowing that old Japanese proverb had accomplished its goal, my best friend and that piece of paper moving me forward to better times and a different frame of mind. During a particularly contentious moment this weekend I went looking for that card and for a brief moment felt a wave of panic when I could not immediately lay my hands on it. Then I realized I really didn't need to, the words so ingrained in my spirit that there was nothing else for me to do but stand back up. And so I did.

A few months ago I told a lie. It wasn’t planned or intentional and when it happened, I would have done absolutely anything to take it back. Life, however, doesn’t always give you a do-over. For too many years I existed in a state of self-preservation. Sometimes a half truth or a full blown lie could keep peace in my home and the ex-hubby from going on a rampage. There were times when I weighed my options, a full blown lie was better than the fall out. Fast forward out of that relationship into a new one and I have been challenged to break some seriously bad habits. My very special friend is a man with much integrity. His tenets of truth, no matter the consequences, are admirable. Trying to meet his high standards have kept me on my toes. Trusting that this relationship would be different than my last, and therefore my behavior must be different as well, has been a true learning experience. When I told my lie I honestly believed that I was keeping nothing from becoming something. I was

At first, I wasn’t much excited about having another birthday, but my birthday weekend was a great experience. I had a wonderful time at both of my book events. The first was a larger crowd with a multitude of activities to celebrate Black History Month. I met some great people, made a few new friends, and overall was pleased with the reception and turnout. It does a spirit good to be able to introduce my Stallion boys to folks who have never read me before. My thanks to the staff of the Wake County Public Library for inviting me to participate. The last event was for those die-hard romance readers, who already knew me and my boys. How absolutely exciting it was to meet DIVAS WHO READ, a book club out of Atlanta, Georgia, who took a road trip all the way to North Carolina to see Altonya Washington, Cheris Hodges and myself. The ladies were an absolute blast and I can’t begin to say enough about how much I love book clubs. It was my first time meeting Altonya and a great time catching

I wasn’t going to mention it. I wasn’t going to mention it because I didn’t sleep with Tiger so it didn’t much matter to me who he was doing during his spare time. Then he publicly emasculated himself last week issuing an apology for his many indiscretions. The man was already small so I imagine that after that fiasco whatever was left of Tiger’s manhood is probably seriously lacking in size right about now. So now I’ll mention it. Tiger didn’t owe me an apology. He didn’t owe anyone else in America an apology either. The woman he professed to honor until death did them in, is the only person he needed to apologize to and he only needed to do that in the privacy of their home, their marriage counselor’s office, or with their family priest running interference. I have no doubts that Tiger has probably uttered plenty of apologies when Mrs. Tiger was swinging that golf club in his direction. Him having a press conference to tell the rest of us how bad he felt about what he’d done, was in

I figured there would be no better time to promote and kick off the return of the infamous Stallion Brothers, than on my birthday. So, if you’re in the area with nothing to do, come see me! Saturday, February 20, 2010 10:00 am – 12:30 pm (3:00 pm) Wake County Public Libraries celebrates “Black History Month: A Cultural Event for All to Experience”, at the Commons Building off Poole Rd. The Friends of Wake County Public Libraries will be co-sponsoring this family-friendly program. Activities will include: a kids room, a quiz bowl, musical entertainment and a talent show. There will be a guest speaker, Ann Atwater of Durham, sharing her experience as an African American civil rights spokesperson. Other special guest include: Ken Smith/WRAL, jazz singer Toni Denise, keyboard artist Eddie Hinton, Mighty Gospel Inspirations, acapella singers - Marc, Kevin & Michael, comedienne Yolanda H. Mitchell, W. H. Amos Praise & Worship Mass Choir, and local author Deborah Fletcher Mello. Parti

Mr. Ben, one of my most favorite guys, succumbed to his old age recently. He wished his nurse a good night, copping one last feel of her ample bosom, then drifted off to sleep. He never woke back up. He hadn’t been well for the last year or two, everyone predicting his demise when it seemed expected. But as was his nature, he never did what was expected of him. After a while we’d all become convinced that he would outlive each of us so the finality of his life has left us breathless, our hearts completely devastated. Mr. Ben was one of my favorite people. He was a dirty old man who could be cantankerous and ornery, flirtatious and loving, comical and humorous. He was charming and annoying and he touched a piece of my heart like no one else. The last time I saw him he didn’t remember my name but he blessed me with his magnificent smile and winked a grey eye as if we shared a secret. Mr. Ben was not his real name. That name was a private joke between the two of us. It seemed fitting to u

A Recipe for Love Ingredients 2 Hearts Open To The Impossible 2 Heaping Cups of Kindness 2 Armfuls of Tenderness 2 Cups of Friendship 2 Cups of Joy 2 Cups of Forgiveness and Understanding 1 Multitude of Togetherness 2 Minds Full of Tenderness Toss daily with Affection, a boat load of Cuddles, Humor and Patience. When appropriate, dim the lights and slowly mix together. Serve with Warmth and Compassion, Respect and Loyalty. Repeat daily. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

A kid cussed me today. It wasn’t my kid ‘cause I would have snatched a very large knot in her very narrow behind had it been. I still may when I see her next. This child was perturbed because I refused to give her information that she didn’t need to have. I was extremely polite, explaining that I wasn’t at liberty to share the info she was so desperate for. I also referred her to the individual who had the answers she wanted and who would better be able to assist her. Unhappy, this young snot felt it necessary to end the conversation with a rousing, “F@&K, You, B#TCH!” just before slamming the telephone down in my ear. SIGH. I don’t handle moments like those well. In fact, to say that I am still pissed off about it is putting it mildly. It didn't help that the person I referred her to totally disregarded her bad behavior. Other people don’t seem to understand why I’m bothered. But I have issues with such blatant disrespect, especially from youngsters who are still sucking on th

I’ve come to the conclusion that navigating a relationship can be down right exhausting. I was just finding my way back to a degree of normalcy from the devastation that had been my marriage when my very special friend and I ventured into the realm of the unknown. Like couples do we’ve been exploring compatibility issues and expectations, taking inventory of what works between us and what doesn’t. That whole song and dance thing can really take the wind out of your sails. Most folks assume my guy and I are married. Those who know differently will occasionally ask when we plan to take that next step. That’s when he and I both start humming…huh….wha…..aaaa…umm. That subject was one we briefly touched on when we first became involved. It’s not a subject either of us have felt a need to revisit. We each have very different reasons for not doing so. Young love has its advantages. No baggage. No complicating factors like financial entanglements, ex-partners, or children to complicate those f

Last night I went to see Tyler Perry’s new stage play Madea’s Big Happy Family. It’s the first time Madea, in all of Tyler’s glory, has been on tour in five years. My baby sister gifted me with a ticket as an early birthday present. It was my first time seeing a Tyler Perry stage place that wasn’t on DVD and this experience was particularly touching because the show is dedicated to Tyler’s mother who passed away in December. The evening itself was a great time and I walked away with knowledge of some new truths. As a writer, when you find a formula that works for you, keep working it. Tyler has reinvented the same drama again and again and his audiences are absolutely enthralled each and every time like it’s their first experience with it. Tyler’s formula however will not work for everybody, so imitation would not serve another writer well. Big, beautiful voices singing big, beautiful songs absolutely nourishes your spirit. Tyler Perry is a man who is very secure with himself and very