BESTIES

I respect my limitations. I know there are some things I’m just not good at. Although my intentions are always good, I regularly fall short of full and total success. Much like this blog that I seem to regularly forget about, I’m bad about calling people and keeping up with them. My inability to remember and acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries defies logic. Some things come to me after-the-fact and by then, it’s usually too late. My social etiquette skills are just horrific more times than not.

I have a bestie who never forgets an important date and regularly follows up with the appropriate card or acknowledgement. She sends the perfect gifts when a loved one is lost and never misses a celebration of someone’s accomplishments. She has regularly put me to shame, and I’ve always envied her ability to make what seems unfathomable look so easy.

Lately though, I think she’s given up the ghost and I can’t much blame her. Hell, why call folks who don’t try to call you? This Thanksgiving was not the first holiday I didn’t hear from her. The last few years have seen her bypassing those of us who look like we don’t appreciate her and her efforts. So, this year I did call for the holiday. Albeit two days late, but two days was a true win for me. Not that I’m defending my actions, but hell, I know my shortcomings and there is no point in me lying about them.

I love my dear friend and her ability to remember and acknowledge those of us in her life has always been a blessing to me and many, many others. You could depend on her like clockwork and personally, I became very comfortable with that. I could fall short because she was there to pick up me and my slack. But I can also see that her not getting that back from me could be perceived as me being selfish and diminishing. I have no doubts that it has raised questions about the depth of our friendship and whether or not I am truly someone she can still depend on.

I genuinely want to do better and be a better friend. And I know that I’ll put forth the effort but like that last diet, it might not last long. It’s not who or how I am but it also doesn’t negate my love and affection for the woman who is more sister to me than anything else. She has always been my rock and my cheerleader, encouraging me forward when I didn't think I could take another step. She's my oldest and dearest friend and I love her unconditionally. She is my bestie! She knows me better than most, so I hope, if nothing else, she knows my heart.