Wednesday, May 25, 2011


It was a conversation about Dianna “shacking” with her man. Dagmar was quick to point out that her sister was living in sin. She even quoted script and verse to substantiate her point. We heard about “fornication”, “uncleanness”, and “covetousness spells”. Dagmar quoted Corinthians, Matthew, and Ephesians. When she was done preaching, there were a few of us, myself included, who were suddenly concerned that we might actually be headed straight to hell.

Then Jane added her two cents. She questioned our definitions of “marriage”. Pulling out dictionaries, laptops, smart phones and the like, everyone Googled the word “marriage” for clarity. In the end, most agreed on the technical definition that marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such unions are often, but not always, formalized via a religious or civil ceremony.

With a definition established, Jana quietly interjected food for thought.

“Nowhere in the Bible does it say anything about a ceremony, a certificate, or a legally binding document. For a man to take a wife, all she needs to do is live with him, sleep with him, and have his children. So if two people live together in a committed relationship, for the long haul, til death do they part type stuff, where they call each other husband and wife and have established a life together as one, then theirs is a marriage. Many cultures still practice this very method of matrimony without benefit of a white dress, an over-priced reception, and a $50 piece of paper from some government agency. Marriage is about two people living in love.”

As we all mulled over Jane’s comment, Dagmar huffed, shrugging her shoulders with a perturbed eye-roll. And I’m still wondering if a few of us are actually going to make it through them pearly gates.


Anonymous said...

In the Bible God says, “If you love Me, you’ll keep My commandments.” We read the Bible and two commandments deal with physical intimacy, adultery and fornication. One of God’s first gifts to man was woman. He gave man woman. They were joined in a Holy Covenant (Holy Matrimony). As believers of God and His word we have to live by His word. And when not if but when we break His laws and commandments, pray. Ask God to give you a proper connection to fulfill your desires, whether it’s sex or something else. I believe He understands our desires because He created them for us. Man just uses them for our own pleasure.

Deborah Mello said...

Thank you.