Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I WILL WRITE


Hey, did you miss me? I've purposely been AWOL for most of April. I needed some down time to step back, review, regroup, and and revive myself. Subsequently, I didn't write. Not one word. For the last few months everything around me has been nothing but clutter and mess. The clutter had gotten to the point of being overwhelming and it just became too darn difficult to function in the midst of it. That is changing. It has to.

LOST IN A STALLION'S ARMS has been well received. Romantic Times Magazine gave it 4-Stars! Readers have lauded it with praise. Can't begin to tell you how that took the edge off of everything else I was going through, especially since I haven't been writing.

My baby boy and I have been spending more time together. I've discovered a side to my child I didn't know existed. He's discovered much about me, as well. He'll be leaving me again in the very near future. Son-shine has enlisted in the military. His paperwork has been signed and delivered He'll be headed off to bootcamp soon so I'm getting as much of my mommy-fix in as I can possibly muster. He's excited about what lies ahead for him. I'm happy that he's happy.

The old people are still old. My father, mother, and grandmother haven't been well. I find myself forgetting what it was like to have them at full capacity. I am reminded daily that life is both precious and fragile.

My very special friend and I are still holding strong despite the many odds against us. Those moments where I can't imagine my life without him have proven to be far greater than those moments where I ponder what in hell I had to be thinking. Our relationship has truly been a learning experience. Sometimes I am in awe and wonder of the lessons. And of course their are moments when I'm cramming to make the grade, adament that neither he, nor I, will fail.

Spring fever hit with a vengeance. Prom season rolled around and young love was suddenly in full bloom. A young friend paid me a visit yesterday to share her prom experience this past weekend. Her date had been a friend she'd known since they had both been in grade school. She was aglow with excitement, sharing the details of the event. I found myself enthralled by her energy. And I couldn't help but smile when she said she was "crushing hard" and the boy didn't have a clue. "It's absolutely ridiculous," she gushed. "I have to plan what I'm going to say to him three whole days in advance or when I'm near him, I completely forget how to have a conversation!" She was hoping their time together at prom would prove to be a turning point in the relationship. With graduation fast approaching she was hopeful that her future prospects might be more promising.

As she said her good-byes I was suddenly intrigued by the possibilities of my own future. I imagine that what I might be dreaming for myself might not be what God, and fate, have in store for me.

And then I wanted to write. Needed to write. Desperate to tell the stories that have been building inside. Anxious to give substance to emotions that have begun to consume me. And so I will. I will write.

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