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CRACKED, BUT NOT BROKEN...

Just a quick update because I'm short on time and energy. This has been an unusual week for me. Family came to visit unexpectedly, commanding attention that I had reserved for elsewhere. To say that I wasn't a happy camper was putting it mildly but what can you do when it's family. Unfortunately I didn't do well because I lost sleep, writing time, spirit, and an ounce or two of my sanity. By the end of their seven day visit I was ready to see them leave. So much so that when the alarm went off at four AM to get them to the airport for their early morning flight, I was the first one in the car, ready to go.

Karma, of course, came back to bite me in the butt for my unkind thoughts. Shortly before their departure I took a nasty fall, tripping over my feet onto a gravel walkway headfirst into the front quarter panel of my car. It wasn't pretty. Three hours between doctors and I am bruised and battered like I went seven rounds in a boxing match. The lump on my forehead has just begun to go down, it'll be weeks before I have flesh back on my knees and my foot, thankfully, wasn't fractured. It only suffered major soft tissue damage. And I dented my car.

On a high note, the baby boy went to the prom and had a good time. At some one o'clock in the morning he and his two best friends came crawling into the house and passed out asleep in my living room. Sometimes I feel like I still have three teenagers at home instead of just one. His buddies come and go like they live here which can be very disconcerting in the late night hours when one or more of them is scavaging in my refrigerator. They're good kids though and I'm thankful that my son feels comfortable enough to want them to be there with him rather than him being somewhere out in the streets with them.

And yesterday I spent four hours in a tattoo parlor. I didn't get a tattoo this time although I am planning to get another very soon. But I did do something I've wanted to do for a very long time. It felt quite liberating and just a touch devious. The moment took me back to a time when I felt most free, walking a tightrope on the wild side of my more conservative personality.

I walked back in time more than once this past week. Most of it good, some of it a bit disconcerting. Most of my past experiences and memories don't haunt me but I have one or two that have left some significant scars on my psyche. Years of therapy enabled me to get past some serious trauma and find a good place to exist in. My past philosophy was to just leave some things dead, to take them to the grave with me because I don't believe that it serves any grand purpose at this point in my life to not do so. But for the first time, sharing my issues didn't leave me as broken as it has done before. I cracked, just a touch, but I was able to fix myself real quick. Airing your dirt and demons with someone you trust completely truly makes a significant difference in how you feel and inevitably deal with them.

And now I'm healing, hoping my body will rejuventate itself quickly. I'm feeling my age right now and I'm not that old. With prayer, a blessing or two, and a hint of luck, I'm hoping this week will be just a bit brighter.
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