I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

In 2009 my beloved grandmother battled her way back from severe pneumonia, proving that some doctors don't always know what they're talking about.  After days in intensive care, she and death butted heads and death turned tail and ran in the opposite direction.  That time wasn't her time, the old bird proving that a fighting spirit can surpass the insurmountable.  Sadly, death came back for a second try and this time he won.  Yesterday, the old woman took her last breath shortly after midnight as I sat by her bedside, holding tight to her hand.  Although I called myself prepared for the inevitable, I was ill-prepared to wish my dear granny goodbye.  And despite the depths of my faith, God's will was clearly not my will. My heart is broken now that she is gone and I have to wonder if it will ever again be whole.  Next week we will celebrate her life and wish her a final farewell.  And although my beloved grandmother could be a prickly pain in my left cheek, I would

This past Thursday I arrived at the nursing home to find my grandmother a semblance of her usual self.   She has been hospitalized ever since, our family sitting in anxious vigil by her bedside. On Friday morning, a compassionate emergency room physician sat toe to toe with my father and gently told him that our matriarch was dying.   He warned that with her rapidly failing health there would be some difficult decisions that would have to soon be made.   In that moment I instinctively knew that despite our mutual concerns for our loved one, we would be a family at odds over those decisions. Despite my continuous struggles with my faith, when it comes to death I have always trusted that God knows best.   Even as a little girl, the prospect of death did not scare me and mostly because my beloved grandmother too frequently intoned how blessed we would all be on the other side.   I can still envision those promises of an eternal Eden and even now I believe that she herself trusts in

Yesterday I watched a young friend who was struggling with what to do for the new love interest in his life.   His female friends were bombarding him with more ideas than he could comprehend.   As he stood in line at the mall, having selected what everyone else perceived was the perfect gift for his girl, he suddenly had a change of heart.   Nothing about the gift reflected who he was and what he stood for.   Nor did it speak to the relationship he had and was wanting with his companion.   He asked for advice and I told him to keep it simple.    I reminded him that it was more about them being together, sharing time and space, and capturing memories that would last her a lifetime, whether they remained partners or not. One of my most memorable Valentine’s Days was my high school honey who convinced me to skip Spanish class and steal away early from school.   He’d packed a picnic lunch (turkey sandwiches, Cheetos, brownies, and bottles of coca cola).   We spent the afternoon at

God called his Angel home today, To lead the comeback choir. To lift her voice in adoring praise, And still the flames of hell's fire. He called his Angel to his side, Having missed her gift of song. And now she'll sing like once before, Having found her way back home. Rest in peace, Whitney Houston August 9, 1963 - February 11, 2012