I Ain't Said Nothin' But A Word...

I hope everyone had a safe and joyous holiday. I skipped my usual holiday greeting this week. There was much I was busting to write but I had to put it on hold so that I wouldn’t give any secrets away. I’d been holding on to a boatload of secrets for the past few weeks. This entire weekend has been about family. His, mine, and ours. Thanksgiving Day my special friend and I spent the entire day together. The time was spent in self reflection, us reflection and just the sheer enjoyment of enjoying time together. We then spent the evening dining with my family in my mother’s home. Family then kicked in big time. Secrets spilled out on Friday evening when we celebrated my mother’s 70th birthday with a surprise birthday party. Family and friends came from all over to honor a woman who has been an exceptional part of this family. Her oldest sister who is well in her 80’s traveled from South Carolina. Her youngest sibling came from Washington for the celebration. Women who grew up in my famil

She told him she wished she didn’t love him so much. She really believes that if she didn’t love him as much as she does then when things aren’t well between them and it hurts as much as it sometimes does, that she wouldn’t care. He told her to pray to God to take that love out of her heart and God would. As she told me I had to think about that for a moment. Will God take love out of your heart? Would you want him to? I can’t imagine that my God, who has blessed me with the ability to open my heart to another individual, would willfully wipe that from my spirit. I can’t begin to fathom myself or anyone else thinking they should or could ask God to do such a thing. Falling in love is such a monumental feat. Opening up one’s self to that kind of vulnerability is not an easy thing to do. I also think that when one person truly captures your heart, then you’ve been given an amazing gift. Making a commitment to another person is not only about them but also about yourself. Love is seeing s

Four years ago today my oldest son passed away. You never ever get over that kind of loss. What you do is pick yourself up, try to keep moving, and in time, you hopefully learn a new kind of normal. I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if my child was still here with us today. I wonder about the impact he would have had on his own children. How he would have handled his father and I divorcing? Would he still be supportive of my choices? Would his little brother ignore his swift kicks the way baby boy ignores mine? I miss my favorite son. I miss him calling to ask if I would cook his favorite meal the way only I knew how to do. I miss hearing the sound of his voice and that laugh that always made me laugh with him. I wonder what he would have thought about the economy and our President and how the New England Patriots have been performing. I am sometimes amazed at just how much you can miss somebody. I would never have imagined it to be so consuming. I’ve written about my son

Due to the idiosyncrasies of being fifteen-years old and easily distracted, Third on the 3rd will return in December. Maybe. And then again, maybe not. It will depend on whether or not we can get over our idiosyncrasies. It will also depend on whether or not I can be re-convinced that we are both dedicated, responsible and committed to delivering on our promises.