FAMILY DYSFUNCTION AND ALL THEIR JAZZ!

We graduated! We graduated! We graduated!

The baby boy has officially graduated and so did his mommy. I am finally out of high school hell! No more teacher conferences, homework drama, and all the ills that plague us parents as we try to get our kids through school. The boy walked across the stage to get his diploma and my grin was a mile wide across my face.

Whew! Has it been a long week and an even longer weekend. Graduation was Friday and on Saturday, my mother and I hosted an old fashioned fish fry to celebrate commencement and my father’s birthday. I've been cooking for days for a very large gathering of family and friends. We had the party in my parent’s backyard complete with ninety-plus degree temperatures and as much family dysfunction as some folks could muster.

Cousin That kicked off the festivities by announcing his acceptance on a TV reality show. His grandmother was bragging big time about how he was going to California to live in a mansion. She’d never seen the reality show her grandbaby is going to be participating on. Cousin That is going to be loving himself some New York and his bible thumpin’ granny will probably fall out from the embarrassment. This is a woman who won’t read my books because of the “sex and sinning” that goes on between the pages. I personally plan to host a TV watching night with her here just so I can get a picture of her face when she views the show for the first time. I can’t wait to see how she handles her little darling’s sex and sinning!

Then Uncle This and the new wife both lost their cotton picking minds. Uncle This bought the wife a new puppy. A new puppy that they leave in a closed car. It was 96 degrees outside! I don’t even want to imagine what might have happened if the two dumb asses hadn’t mentioned it in passing and my baby boy rushed to rescue the little dog. I asked them just how stupid could they be and neither had a clue that they’d done anything wrong. I keep telling my mother that there is some family that doesn’t need to come to any family function that I’m at. These two fools are just that kind of family.

My crazy kin was still crazy. More new imaginary friends that none of us will ever meet, but hey, she’s happy so who am I to fault her. Maybe she’s actually got something with her imaginary relationships. I might try one or two myself. Think I might create me a boy toy to play with every now and then. I’ll call him Stud and he’ll be one too. Stud, here to serve, guaranteed to please, and he only shows up when I want him to show up. I may very well be on to something.

So, I’ve officially kicked off the summer. A marriage, a divorce, a move, and a transition are all that’s left of the major events I’ll have to get through this year and I’ll finally be able to rest. If nothing else, I’m loading up on material to fuel my writing. Just this weekend alone gave me a book or two or three that I can write. You just gotta’ love a dysfunctional family and all their jazz!