Friday, August 24, 2012
Youth today are in a league all their own. They are a new breed of kid and with this generation coming up, I can only ask “why?”
Joshua graduated over a year ago. Since then he’s made no effort to do anything of any value. No effort has been made to go to school or work. I asked Joshua if he had plans for his future. He answered with a disinterested shrug of his shoulder. I asked if he’d considered college. He told me that he really had no interest in anything at all. Joshua said he’s all about “making that paper”. Since Joshua doesn’t have a job, and doesn’t seem much interested in anything at all, legal or otherwise, I don’t know how he plans to make that "paper" happen. His parents support his bad habits, affording him the only "paper" he ever seems to get and he can’t rationalize why he should make any effort to change.
Tasia was raised by an adoring grandmother. She was made to go to church every Sunday and be respectful of her elders. Since graduating high school Tasia moved out on her own, leaving her granny and her home training behind. I asked Tasia about her interest in higher education. She slammed a telephone down in my ear in response.
I want to ask Jessica about her plans, to discover if there is anything that moves her creative spirit. Jessica won’t bother to answer my calls, having blocked my phone number because Jessica couldn't give a rat’s ass about doing anything except having herself a good time.
Youth today believe in their good time. It supersedes everything they should be doing. Preparing for their future is no fun. Pissing away time, energy, and mama and daddy’s money makes them just as happy as little pigs in mud, They wallow in the experience, taking delight in doing nothing, or doing everything they have no business doing. A wise woman once said that all most kids today have to do is eat, sleep, and poop and they can't even do that without stepping in it.
I have seen and heard some things from some kids today that would have gotten my own offspring a real world ass whipping. My own may have given it some consideration but they would not have been so brazen or so stupid to take that kind of risk. Those of my own generation would not have even contemplated it, the thought of being so rude and disrespectful in no way crossing our minds. Like many, had I even looked at my parents the wrong way I would have gotten my teeth slapped down my throat.
So when I encounter some teens today, I can’t help but eye their entire generation with frustration, wondering where, when, and how it all went wrong.
I can’t help but ask, why?
Posted by Deborah Mello at 10:02 PM
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Age, and wisdom, have made me exceptionally cautious about the people I invite into my personal space. Not everyone is allowed access to my private life and those invited are usually vetted for some time before I feel comfortable enough to welcome them in.
Recently I became acquainted with a group of women who I’ve been able to spend much time with. I was open to the possibilities of new friendships and bonds being formed. But women being women, it soon became clear that things were not as picture perfect as they first appeared. And women being women it took no time at all for the claws to come out, for jealousy to flare, and the possibility of any enduring friendships to come to a swift and screeching halt.
After witnessing some seriously bad behavior I, and another in that little clique, were accused of our own bad behavior. The accuser cast a shadow on our integrity while smiling in our faces the entire time. Our behavior was deemed conduct unbecoming to anyone in the environment where we were interacting. It was said that malicious comments had been uttered and that there was an altercation where we treated another badly. When the accusation was brought to my attention it left me stunned and bewildered because the entirety of it was a complete and total lie, a bold-faced fabrication constructed solely around a difference of opinions. It was a betrayal of monumental proportions.
As quickly as that bold faced lie brought folks’ true colors to light, it shut the door on any possibility of any in this group being welcomed into my world. It assured that I will, from this point forward, deal with them only at arm’s length, forever wary of their motives.
Actions speak much louder than words and I have had little to say to anyone associated with this sad and unnecessary situation. The lies have already done their damage and nothing said can erase the residue of doubt they left behind. But as a dear and trusted friend reminded me, what’s done in the dark will always come to the light and I imagine that with no help from me at all, the truth will cast a bright glow on the individual who set us on this path.
Sadly though, when all is said and done, the door to any friendships between myself and any of the other women will forever be closed, and locked, none of them welcome into my private life. I just can't take that risk.
Posted by Deborah Mello at 11:47 PM
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
I made my boys cook. I saw it as a major necessity to keep them from starving. In my mind it also kept them from becoming dependent on a woman their mama didn’t like. Of course, back in the day I was convinced there wasn’t a young woman in the world good enough for my boys. But my older boys all married incredible women, proving me wrong. And I hope those women were impressed by the culinary skills my babies brought to the table.
Baby boy took his culinary skills to a whole other level. I’ve written before about his talents in the kitchen, having nicknamed the kid Chef-Boy-You–Are-Good by the time he was twelve years old. However, I’m a little taken aback by some of his recent culinary endeavors.
Son-shine is stationed in Texas. They have snakes in Texas. Nasty, poisonous snakes. I’m not understanding the attraction, but always one to push the boundaries the kid figured why not. Why not turn a rattle snake catch into a savory, butter-milk soaked delicacy served with tomato and garlic infused rice and a tangy dipping sauce.
He said why not!
I can’t help but question, why?
I think he needed a little nudging so I told him it's okay to eat normal food. It's okay if he drives by a McDonald's and orders himself some take out. Really! Mama won't mind at all. In fact, I'll even spring for the Big Mac and fries!
Posted by Deborah Mello at 12:23 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Friday, August 03, 2012
There’s something about the calm before a storm that feels particularly satisfying. It’s knowing that no matter what devastation might be coming in your direction, that you are more resilient. Beating you down might be a harder task than imagined.
I’m in the midst of calm while a storm brews with a vengeance around me. But being beaten is not an option, not without one hell of a good fight. I think it’s my age. I have no tolerance for nonsense, being less inclined to bite back my words. I'm unwilling to tolerate bad behavior, not even my own. So, as I weather the cold fronts about to collide I know when all is said and done I will still be standing, everything balanced as it should be. I’m grateful to be so blessed.
Posted by Deborah Mello at 12:39 AM