HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

I am such a sucker for all things cute! May you have a wonderful, happy, much loved Valentine's Day!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As 2010 fizzled out and 2011 landed with a resounding THUD!, I was reminded of one very important life lesson: When you allow someone else to be responsible for your good time, you can't complain when you don't have one. Jack Daniels, an old favorite, saved my midnight hour this year. I'm sure I won't like him half as much in the morning.

Sitting in reflection, I had to take a quick moment and check myself. A life lesson I've most recently learned: You get back what you invest. And that applies to a shitty attitude, so I worked ten-fold to improve my own. Then I revisted my favorite tidbits of advice and felt they were well worth repeating for the New Year.

So, as you rid yourself of last year's haunts and pour over your New Year's resolutions, remember that each new day is an opportunity for a new beginning. If you didn't get it right the first time, then do better the second, and if necessary, the third time.

May the New Year fulfill all of our dreams and wishes and may each of our blessings be abundant and joyous. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WISDOM FOR 2011


1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and look back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

20. Remember to give thanks.

DEAR SANTA,

Dear Santa,

So it’s been a while since I last wrote you a letter. It was the early 1970’s if I recall when I asked for a pony for the third time and for the third time didn’t wake up to find one in the back yard. The third time, not that I was counting or anything. I don’t hold a grudge but I think you should know, for future reference of course, that a Chatty Patty doll does not measure up when a girl is expecting a pony. Neither does a dishwasher when you’re wanting diamonds and wool socks from Wally World when you kind of had your hopes on Broadway tickets. But hey, I’m sure with all the letters you have to read each year and all of the requests that you get, meeting everyone’s expectations is a bit of a challenge for you and some things are bound to get missed.

With all the things happening in the news lately that peace on earth, good will toward men thing seems to be kind of a hit or miss for you as well and I know plenty of other folks have been asking for that too each and every year. But hey, I get that there’s only so much that you can do. I can just imagine that you’ve got your hands full trying to reel them elves in with all that eggnog being guzzled and I won’t even get started on the reindeer. Bright nose my behind! Rudolph may want to try a 12-step program for what ails him!

But I digress! Santa, I’ve been in a bah humbug kind of mood. It’s been a little chilly down here in the South and you know I’m not a fan of cold weather. You can drop a dusting of snow on Christmas morning, just for effect but keep the bulk of it up there where you are. Trust me when I tell you it really won’t be missed. It doesn’t need to be eighty degrees but below freezing isn’t working either. And if you can’t swing that, two round trip tickets to an island paradise (all expenses paid, of course) would work nicely.

I’m thinking, Santa that I’m probably sitting on both your naughty and your nice lists this year. You know how I tend to do things! So when you’re doing that checking it twice thing and you think you’re seeing double when you run across my name, don’t sweat it. I’ve earned every ounce of that coal you have for me because I have had a very good year being as bad as I wanna be! Just throw in one of those fancy grills for the deck this summer too and I think it will all balance out nicely.

Look at you with your rosy cheeks, just blushing! At least when I was being bad, I was very good at it. And I’m just saying!

But I really just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Santa and to tell you that I’m over that pony that you never brought me. I’m riding Stallions now. Big ones. And I already have one of my own. A stallion that is. A girl didn’t want to risk you getting it wrong. Again. And I’m trying really, really hard to be really, really good to him. Even though he kind of likes it when I’m bad. But that’s a whole other letter for another time. I might even write a book about it.

So, keep doing what you do best, big guy! And by the way, you’re still looking good in your Santa suit. What did you lose? Ten, fifteen pounds? It’s a good thing too because they’re not making chimneys like they use to.

Yours truly,
Still singin’ and swingin’ and getting’ merry like Christmas,

Deborah

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

He gets up each morning and gives thanks for the blessing of a new day. He is grateful for each and every one because he is not supposed to be here. An airplane accident almost took him that first time. Cancer keeps trying to take him now.

He’s cheated death many times and with each breath that he draws, death is reminded of its failing. He tells everyone who listens just how blessed he is and just how much he appreciates the opportunity to live his life to its fullest.

He called to wish me a happy holiday. He started the conversation by telling me how much he loved me. We bantered back and forth like we have done since we were little kids. I asked about his health and if he was taking care of himself. And like always, he assured me that he has everything under control. And just like always, I knew that he probably didn’t. That he was just taking each and every day, one at a time.

His zest and exuberance ignited my own. Everything I have to be thankful for flooded my spirit with a vengeance. I have so very much to be thankful for. That he is still here with us, reminding me with regularity that I am loved, is high on my gratitude list.

He made me laugh and even now I can’t wipe the smile of happy from my face thinking about him. Hearing him laugh fills me with tremendous joy.

We ended our conversation the way we started it. Telling each other how much we loved one another. I scolded him to be well and to take care of himself. He promised he would. Then he reminded me one more time of just how very blessed I am and just how very much I have to be thankful for.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! May you each have a safe and blessed holiday!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Despite the challenges between us I am still very much my daddy's girl. My father was the first man I ever fell in love with and set the standard for all the men who came into my life afterward. No man has ever challenged me the way my father has. Nor has there been any other man who I have wanted approval from like I have yearned to have it from my daddy.

Today, we honor those men in our lives who stepped up to do what they needed to do to get us from childhood to maturity. We honor those me who paved the way and set the standards. I honor my father today and with much love, wish him a very happy Father's Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

A Recipe for Love

Ingredients
2 Hearts Open To The Impossible
2 Heaping Cups of Kindness
2 Armfuls of Tenderness
2 Cups of Friendship
2 Cups of Joy
2 Cups of Forgiveness and Understanding
1 Multitude of Togetherness
2 Minds Full of Tenderness

Toss daily with Affection, a boat load of Cuddles, Humor and Patience. When appropriate, dim the lights and slowly mix together. Serve with Warmth and Compassion, Respect and Loyalty.

Repeat daily.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Father Time can’t get his ragged butt out of dodge quick enough for me. I am so excited at the prospect of a new year that I am ready, willing, and wanting Baby New Year to get here quick to challenge me with whatever he has in his bag of tricks.

2009 almost got the best of me but I’m still standing on faith, still believing in the power of prayer, and still trusting in God to see me through.

I heeded the wisdoms that were shared with me this past year. Subsequently I took a number of risks, sometimes jumping without thought, or fear, into the unknown. I learned many lessons. I realized that there were doors that closed so that others could be opened. Something I thought I wanted eluded me and I’ve come to realize that it was truly a blessing in disguise. I broke some rules, made some mistakes, claimed some successes, and through it all stayed true to myself.

2010 will usher in a wealth of hope and potential. I’ll be reviving life into my Stallion boys, writing like my life depends on it and spinning myself into as many new adventures as I can muster. I will continue to try and live a good and honorable life, enjoying every minute that is given to me. I am letting go of the past and moving forward. And it is all good.

To family, friends, and those just passing by, may you each have a safe, happy, and blessed New Year!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The turkey is in the oven. Most of the presents are wrapped and here on the east coast Christmas Day is officially here. I am cuddled close to my favorite guy, feeling safe and secure and immensely loved. The only things missing are that dang Christmas tree and enough snow to cover the ground and make it a white holiday.

Being safe, secure and immensely loved has done wonders for my previous "bah humbug" mood. Santa done good this year and I have much to be thankful for.

Merry Christmas and I wish you all a very safe and blessed holiday!

NOTHIN' BUT A WORD

Three years ago today I warned that my blog presence would be one heck of a ride. I could say so with much certainty because I knew that life could throw you some serious curves when you least expected.

You all have followed me through the end of my marriage, the death of my child, my writing highs, my publishing lows, and the beginnings of what has proven to be an incredibly beautiful and loving relationship. You’ve read me rant and rave about absolutely nothing and about some things that have been exceptionally important to me. I’ve introduced you to family and friends and have told a few secrets some would probably have preferred I not disclose.

But through ever single word I hoped I have entertained you, lifted your spirit as some of you have lifted mine and just been a good time you could slip away to if only for a brief reading moment. If not, if you were ever bored or insulted, tough cookies. Like I’ve said many times before, you do you, ‘cause I can’t do anything else but do me.

I have loved this blogspot. It has been a source of great energy and has fueled some of my best writing. I keep coming back to it because it engages my creative spirit, gives me a space to vent, and has just been a lot of good, innocent fun.

It’s been three wonderful years and some 360-plus blog posts. Not all of them were great but quite a few were really, really good! I appreciate each and every one of you who keeps coming back to peek inside my world and I welcome all who are finding me for the very first time.

So, continue to hang on and hang on tight. There’s a lot coming around the bend and I don’t imagine that I’m going to start holding back any time soon. I promise, I ain’t sayin’ nothin' but a word and this ride is sure to get a whole lot bumpier!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

As we head into Father’s Day weekend I want to acknowledge all the incredible men who are doing it right. I was raised by a wonderful man. My father, from the moment of my conception, was a true, hands-on, strict, loving and attentive father. I was the girl child who gave him hell from the get-go but he never let me forget how much I was loved. My daddy set a standard that few men have been able to meet. (That’s why my baby sister is still single, but you didn’t hear that from me!) It’s also why I am so particular about the men I will open up my heart to. I’m sorry to say that wasn’t always the case, but the lessons have since been learned and learned well.

My very special friend is an amazing father. The oldest son of six children, he stepped up to the plate to help his mother with his younger siblings before he had barely reached adulthood himself. His own son can never deny how magnificent a father he has been. The bond and relationship between the two is testament to just how exceptional a parent this man has been.

I recently met another father, a very sweet man, doing everything in his power to insure his baby boy will be a productive member of society with a good, kind, and loving spirit. He got it right with his older sons. I have no doubt that he will get it right with the youngest.

My dear sweet friend, Mr. Ben, reminded me the other day that he hadn’t always been a good father. “But I’m still workin’ on it!” he said, winking an eye in his son’s direction. Number One Son repaid the gesture with a thumbs up and a wide smile. Later, he filled me in on a secret. “My father is priceless,” he said, fighting to contain a tear.

I had to agree. And I had to thank God for every father who is.

May each of you DADS have a safe, blessed and HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

It's a family cookout kind of weekend! I spent yesterday helping my parents with their first summer blast. The food was on point, particularly the barbecued spareribs which are my father's specialty. The company was exceptional, two families blending beautiful together. It was an absolutely great time.

Today, I'm barbecuing with my very special friend and his family. I will probably eat more hotdogs and hamburgers this weekend than should be allowed. Toss in the baked beans, corn-on-the-cob and I can already feel my hips expanding back into those oversized pants I've been struggling to get out of.

But I wouldn't give it up for anyting in the world. It's that kind of weekend! Enjoy!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

For all you mom's, mom's-to-be, surrogate mom's, and any one else who is deserving of the acknowledgement, may you each have a safe and blessed Mother's Day!

HAPPY EASTER!

With the Easter weekend upon us I can’t help but reminisce about past Easter holidays. As a little girl it was the one and only time my mother purposely dressed my younger sister and I in identical outfits. There was a four-year age difference between us. She and I had very different likes and dislikes, so suffice to say, that one Easter outfit would be the bane for one of us, sheer delight for the other. Being the oldest, I typically got my way more times than not. There were a few times though where I was forced to don more lace and crinoline than should have ever been allowed. My baby sister tended to lean toward very girlie, frilly outfits.

My mother always let us dye a dozen eggs. I can still smell the vinegar we used to mix the dye tablets with to get those brilliant pink, blue, and green colors. Then she’d let us go hide them in the yard. After we hid them she made us wait ten minutes to go back out and pick them all back up. I caught on quick that our Easter egg hunt wasn’t much of a hunt. My sister took a little longer but the day she caught a clue was the last Easter we dyed and hid some eggs in the back yard.

This year, my Easter dress is emerald green with a brilliant hat to match. I called my sister to see what she’d be sporting to church on Sunday. When she described her dress I could only shake my head and smile. Seems we both bought the same green dress.

May you each have a safe and blessed Easter holiday!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

May you each have a safe and blessed New Year!!!!

OFF TO THE NORTH POLE

Well, I'm off to the North Pole to snuggle with Santa. If I get lucky I may even get my elf-fix on!

May you each have a safe and blessed holiday and y'all know I couldn't kick off my Christmas vacation without sharing some holiday entertainment. I never get enough of the big guy!!!

Drop it like it's hot, Santa Baby!!!!
Just click the red button, enter your name in the little box, then click the arrow to start. ENJOY!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I don’t know her real name. She would seem to be a very young woman but she has clearly not aged well. She’s fallen victim to her addictions and her whole carriage embodies the difficult times and rough roads she’s had to traverse in her lifetime. But she has an engaging smile and there is a buoyancy to her deep, alto voice that you don’t expect. There is an air of antiquity to her face, like that of an old soul and that makes me think she would have an old name, something simple and elegant, as I imagine she could have been under different circumstances. I call her Naomi.

Naomi walks the streets talking to herself. Her conversations always seem heated as she gestures with her hands, her head waving excitedly from side to side. Naomi never seems to notice the odd stares and deep frowns people toss in her direction. If you catch her eye she will be your friend, racing to your side to ask for a dollar to buy herself a meal. Naomi is always hungry and I suspect that what Naomi yearns for has little to do with a hot biscuit and cup of coffee.

Naomi rushed in to the store today to exchange four quarters for a dollar bill. Then she asked for two to tide her over for the holiday. Naomi was excited about her future. She’s headed to prison in a few short days to serve time for a number of charges. The only one she proudly claims is her drunk and disorderly conviction. Naomi was excited because it’s cold outside and in prison she’ll get three square meals per day and a blanket and bed at night.

“Gots ta’ be thankful!” Naomi proclaimed excitedly. “God is good,” she concluded as she waved goodbye, promising to come visit again as soon as she got out of jail. Naomi was grinning broadly, her face brimming with joy, gratitude shimmering from her eyes.

Naomi is grateful that prison will move her from the streets to a place with four walls and a cot. Watching her skip across the parking lot, waving excitedly at strangers as she shouted out Thanksgiving greetings, moved me to tears.

I called a friend to tell her about my experience with Naomi. Glenda was headed out of town, anxious to be as far from holiday cheer as she can get. She lost a cherished family member many years back and the holidays no longer hold any joy for her. Glenda will once again spend her holiday mourning her losses as she sits alone on some island getaway. She couldn't fathom that there are people in her life who want to share in her many blessings this year and have her share in theirs.

As you gather around your pretty tables with family and friends this season, be ever so mindful of all those little blessings that we sometimes take for granted. Few of us were privileged to have had an easy time this year. Most of us are still suffering through our individual hardships, understanding that we still have a long way to go. But even Naomi recognizes that there is always something to be grateful for. I wish my my dear friend Glenda could.

Happy Thanksgiving! May you each have a safe and blessed holiday.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

Have a safe and joyous holiday!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I raised six children. All of them were mine whether I’d given birth to them or not, and I did not give birth to them all. I have never differentiated one from the other and most folks who know us couldn’t tell you which ones I’d carried for nine months and which ones I hadn’t. My love for them and their well-being has always been endless and continues to fill me each and every day.

One of the darkest moments in my marriage was the year the ex-hubby was asked what he’d done to acknowledge me for Mother’s Day and his response was, “Nothing. She’s nobody’s mother!” I was crushed that I could raise a man’s children as my own, one born outside the marriage, and he could say something so cruel and cold. The ill-will of that moment was diminished as I opened the homemade gifts and loving cards from my babies, proof positive that as a Mom I was doing something right. It was a difficult adjustment when my kids left home, their lives headed in a direction I could no longer control. More difficult for me than for them as I found my mothering skills needed less often.

My late son use to kick off every Mother’s Day with the first telephone call to me. I also knew that he was probably responsible for many a year that the others needed reminding to even make their own calls. His death hit me hardest that first Mother’s Day when reality set it that there was no call from him to ever come again. His siblings took up the reins though, continuing to life my spirits every year. I so look forward to their calls on Mother’s Day to say hello. I couldn’t begin to put into words how much their love and support means to me.

Don’t forget to call and honor your mother or whoever that special maternal figure is in your life. If your mommy-person is no longer around to acknowledge, take a moment to remember the good times and the beautiful moments you shared together. All those good thoughts will surely find their way to heaven to light another star in the sky. If you’re the one dispensing out that special mother love all year long, I pray that you’re remembered fondly and with much, much love.

May each of you be blessed with a safe and Happy Mother’s Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

It’s Valentine’s Day! Today is that traditional day when lovers express their love for each other by sending Hallmark cards, FTD floral arrangements, and those nasty chocolates with the gushy centers. Somewhere there’ll be a wedding or two, a few may enjoy a night of passionate sexual fulfillment, and then there will be those of us who’ll curl up with a good book and cup of hot chocolate by our lonesome.

Valentine’s Day goes way, way back and is named after two early Christian martyrs aptly named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love back in AD 1000 - 1300 when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Courtly love was this medieval European concept of exalting erotic desire and spiritual attainment. Nowadays, some will get the erotic but I’m not so sure many are concerned about any spiritual anything. Either way, Valentine's Day has truly withstood the test of time.

All of us have our own idea of what the perfect romantic Valentine’s Day encounter entails. I had one woman today tell me she won’t be happy if there wasn’t a steak dinner and a bottle of Blue Hawaiian Boone’s Farm waiting for her tonight. If her hubby holds up his end, then he’ll get a foot massage that’ll lead to some other body parts being massaged and she promises a sexual act that he only gets on his birthday and holidays.

Good company, a stimulating conversation, a plate of fried oysters with a great Caesar salad, and the perfect kiss from the right man at just the right moment, when every fiber in my body turns into melted butter, would do me well in a heartbeat. But since that’s not going to happen this year, I’m sure there’ll be a great book that will satisfy me just as well.

To those of you celebrating with your loved one, have a Happy-Happy. For those of you celebrating alone, have a VERY Happy-Happy. It’s Valentine’s Day and whether you’re celebrating it with someone or alone, just celebrate. Love is truly a very splendid thing to commemorate.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This year flew by. I can’t believe just how fast it got away from me but the 2007 year is waving a hearty goodbye as Baby New Year is readying himself to take over. This definitely wasn’t one of my best years so I can’t say that I’m sad to see it go. In fact, I’m so ready to see it long gone that I will be welcoming in 2008 with bells on.

I took a quick minute to reflect back on my resolutions from last year. Clearly I was on some serious drugs when I even imagined myself attempting to keep them. I think I took wishful thinking to an all-time high. The only resolution that I remotely kept for the entire year was not sweating the small stuff and that’s probably because I didn’t have much small stuff to angst over. My pot of big stuff however over flowed frequently this past year.

For 2008 I’m going to fall back on old people wisdom and just let life do what it’s going to do.

I’m not going to promise to diet and exercise. Like my granny said, “Girl, you might be big but you’re healthy. Now have another slice of pie and be happy. Someone, somewhere, loves a woman with a butt and thighs!”

I will not angst over my divorce. To paraphrase Tina Turner and the lyrics to What’s Love Got To Do With It?, I’m thinking about my own protection.

I’m not going to worry about relationships in general. A friend of a friend said, “The right man at the wrong time is still the wrong man.” I imagine things will be sweet when and if they’re supposed to happen.

Mr. Ben told me that "if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it". I’ll apply that to life it general and live it as fully and as completely as I can.

Mr. Ben also said, "SMILE. It’s good for your face." I plan to smile and laugh as much as I possibly can.

As for the rest of it, who knows. Like Ray Charles told us. “It’s gonna do what it do, baby!” So I’m just going to let it.

Have a safe and blessed New Year!