Sunday, June 24, 2007


Just some random thoughts that will never manifest into full blown postings.

The neighbor allows her children to dress themselves, choosing their own daily attire to wear. Five-year old Junior has finally gotten the knack of pants and a shirt but he now wears boots with everything. Red rubber boots in 100-plus weather, cowboy boots with shorts, workboots with a vested suit. Three-year old Baby-Boo is now going through a pajama phase. He wears them 24-7, even to church. The Batman pair is his favorite. I’ve questioned how often they actually get washed but it doesn’t appear that soap and water touch them on a regular basis. Might be the reason for their allure. Mom calls her style of parenting “progressive”. I have no doubts that she is probably raising the future head of some Fortune-500 company and a President of the United States.

Certain men folk have gone from trolling the trailer parks for a green card to trolling the senior citizens homes. Why are there some women who are so damn desperate for a man that they will do any warm body with a pulse? Certain women are trolling too. Their sights are set a little higher though. They’re flaunting their wares in the NBA, the MLB, and the NFL, going for the green card and the green.

When you’re head over heels in love and the man you’re in love with analyzes your relationship by saying that he only “LIKES” you, that just may be a clue that you need to get your head out from beneath your heels so you can see things a little more clearly. Maybe being "in love" isn't in your best interest.

The fashion industry has things a little backwards. When I’m paying hundreds of dollars for a dress I don’t want to hear the sizes run a little small so that my usual size 16 would actually be a size 22. I would much rather hear that in my very expensive dress I would actually fit into a size 2. I’ll still know the damn dress is a size 16 but it would just make me personally feel a little better when I’m scarving down my next salad and sweating up a storm in the gym to know I can get my broad butt in a size 2 and not a size 22.

And since we’re on dresses, for the record, I would not have picked such a form fitting dress if I didn’t think I’d be able to get my broad butt into it. For those of you betting against me and I do know who you are, bite me. I can get my stuff into my dress and look damn good doing it. Can you?

Justin “Screech” Diamond is truly an ass. Celebrity Fit Club gave him another fifteen minutes of fame as he showed his butt and his penis off for some camera time. Seems he’s molding his member for a new line of sex toys since it’s reported to be of some size. “Packing heat” is how he referred to his prowess and his brief stint as a porno king. Since his stint on that kids show, Saved By The Bell, age hasn’t done him much good. Big dick and all he’s still the nerd who will never be able to pull the cute chicks. Once he opens his mouth and speaks he won’t be able to pull the not-so-cute chicks either. Unless of course they’re desperate for penis and a green card.

Every once in a blue moon there comes a person who has the audacity to open their mouths and say something incredibly stupid to me. Every once in a blue moon I have an incredible desire to tell stupid to F-off and not feel badly about doing so. It surely is a good thing that blue moons don’t come along often.

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