Sunday, May 27, 2007


Danita hasn’t had much to celebrate lately. She’s ending a relationship, a marriage that had lasted all of her adult life. Danita doesn’t regret her decision to let go of what’s not working in her life but she hates that she has to walk through hell to do it.

Both Danita and her husband agree that they should have let things go years ago, but children and responsibilities will do that to you. Keep you beating a dead horse even though you know the carcass isn’t going to get back up and walk no matter how hard you hit it. Danita had anticipated the road to divorce would be easy once the decision had been made but she’d forgotten about the abuse, the anger, and the frustration that had brought them to this place to begin with. Letting go of each other would seem to be the easy part. Letting go of their baggage is another story all together.

Danita had a rough weekend. The husband is hurt and angry with his lot in life and he wants Danita to hurt as well. The woman is tired of the battles that seem to never end, the screaming and the name calling that drains her energy and leaves her feeling as though she is only a semblance of her true self. She hates that she is being made to shoulder the man’s frustrations when she has her own to deal with.

Danita cries a lot, wishing for the day and time when all of it will end. Her tears come in spurts and waves, motivated by the degree of torment she is made to endure. She cries and prays that time will pass by quickly and they will soon find themselves apart from each other for good.

No one knows the hell that happens behind Danita’s closed doors. No one ever sees the hurt that’s still painted behind her stare. Danita never allowed the world to see the worst of her experience, the bitter fragments of a union that was destined to end before it even began. Danita believed that the truth of her mistreatment exposed to family and friends would have been worse than the daily trials of fire she’d been made to live. But she’s tired of pretending, no longer caring what anyone knows, desperate to find her way out.

Life is hell behind Danita’s four walls. But she has to walk through the fire for just a little while longer until she can see her way clear at the end.

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