I wear my emotions on my sleeves. I don’t fare well when I play poker because I hardly have a poker face. My eyes are neon signs for every emotion I may be feeling. My face is like a billboard of advertisement. So is my writing. This is a good thing. And, then again, it's not so good.
Typically every experience, every feeling, every thought I have or have had ends up in a story, a post, or a letter I’ve written or will write. Those who know me best know where and what to look for to discover what’s going on in my world. I have one dear friend in particular who will frequently weed out a trial or tribulation that I’ve attributed to some fictional character to resolve, knowing that it is something that’s actually weighing heavily on my own shoulders. Knowing this has suddenly made me very self-conscious about what I write. Exposing myself when I can be anonymous is one thing. Exposing myself where someone can recognize me is something else all together.
My writing is at its very best when I allow my emotions to control my words. Trying to control my emotions so that my head can control the words makes for some really bad writing. Lately, my writing has been absolutely atrocious. It truly has not been pretty but for reasons beyond my control I have had to contain my emotions to protect folks I love and care about. It’s a good thing that this situation is only temporary because I’m about to combust from not being able to let my feelings show. And, people are starting to question why I’m wearing dark shades all the time, too!
And, I say all this to explain why I’ve been posting so infrequently. But I’m well past ready to get back to the business of writing and writing well. I just might have to let the dust settle down from the explosion first though.