Tuesday, June 23, 2009


Since the divorce and separation I have been introduced to a ton of single men. Well-meaning family and friends have found it necessary to search out every unattached Tom, Dick and Harry for me to get to know, hopeful that something might come from it.

Typically, right after hello, and right before the how are you, I know that there will be no connection of any type or kind to be made. On a few very rare occasions I actually meant it when I told them that I was glad to meet them. More times than not though that first introduction proved to be a last encounter. Only a precious few have attained the status of friend.

Then I met my very special guy. From day one there was something about his spirit that moved me like no other man had ever moved me before. We’ve been growing together ever since.

Despite knowing that there is someone in my life, folks still like to pass me the names and numbers of guy friends they think I should get to know. More times than not I don’t make anything of it, losing those names and numbers as quickly as I receive them. Other times I feel obligated to at least make a connection and say hello.

Recently, a family friend wanted me to meet a relative. He was a great guy, very sweet, a true gentleman and he made me laugh. I think it was human nature to be curious but I was also acutely aware that I already had a great, very sweet, true gentleman, who made me laugh. My very special friend was also a man who had touched my spirit. I couldn’t begin to fathom developing anything new when I already had a relationship that meant the world to me. It made for a very awkward situation. Wanting to be sensitive to everyone’s feelings I didn’t want my very special friend to think that I was being disrespectful of him and us, in any form or fashion. Nor did I want my new acquaintance to get the wrong impression about something that was not going to develop between us.

What the experience forced me to do was define what I had refused to define. I was made to acknowledge emotion that I had just allowed to be, not believing I needed to give it a name before I was ready to.

My very special friend knows me better than I know myself sometimes. He also keeps me grounded. I feel safe and secure in his presence and being away from him tears at my spirit. I wouldn’t want to lose what we share for anything else in this world. That man has my heart like no one has ever had my heart before.

Sitting with my granny this evening she asked me how my guy was. After a moment of reflection, I told her. “He loves me. He loves me very much.”

She smiled and chuckled softly. Then she said all-knowingly, “You love him, too.”

And I do. So much so that I couldn’t wait to get to him to tell him that he has my heart and soul. I love him and I want everyone else to know.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Then you should let him know over and over. Enjoy the moment!!!!