Tuesday, June 10, 2008


You know when a relationship is working. It feels right even when things might be going wrong. My very special new friend and I have been building an extraordinary relationship. The friendship was incredible from the beginning. He was someone I talked with, laughed with, and even cried with and it was easy to do. We enjoyed each other’s company and every time together was a great time. Although we’d planned to take it very slow, to simply linger in the newness of being with each other, we seem instead to be spiraling quickly, the experience exhilarating.

Recently we hit a speed bump or two or three. Typical new relationship stuff as we continue to discover each other and maneuver our way down this path we seem to be traveling together. There were misunderstandings and some confusion. Once or twice there was nothing pretty about it or us.

He’s a man who believes in talking everything out. Once the emotions are on the table, aired and resolved, then it’s forgotten so you can move on. I’m a person who tends to hold things in, allowing them to fester, then blowing a gasket when the pressure builds. My very special new friend won’t allow me to do that and quickly puts me in check when I try. Nothing festers anymore. I’m learning to let it out and then let it go. With him, I can actually see myself growing in the relationship. With him, I’ve discovered things about myself I never would have believed.

When he walks into a room I get excited to see him. When we’re apart I miss him immensely and we burn up our cell phone minutes talking about absolutely nothing for hours at a time. Just thinking about the man makes me smile like I’m hopelessly foolish! The other day he told me that sometimes when I’m not looking he just stares at me. He says I’m beautiful. Beautiful doesn’t begin to express how incredible the man makes me feel.

For the first time I feel like I know what it might truly mean to have a partner. He and I dream together. We plan together. We share and even in sharing neither of us has lost our unique identities. He allows me my space, my moods, my moments and in turn I whole-heartedly give him his. My initial new relationship giddiness has been replaced with a something more. There is now a true sense of contentment and elation like I have never experienced before.

My son referred to him recently as “mom’s boyfriend”. The moment threw me because we haven’t felt it necessary to officially define what we are to each other. Neither have we wanted or been willing to define it for other people. Personally, I don't like the term "boyfriend". "Boyfriend" hardly encompasses what he is to me. He’s a true man through and through, nothing boyish about him. And he is so much more to me than just a friend.

Clearly, our relationship is working beautifully.

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