Friday, June 06, 2008


Melody is not happy. In fact, Melody’s doing this serious relationship dance where she’s smiling on the outside while crying on the inside. It’s got the girl feeling completely out of sorts. Melody’s been here before and it actually surprises her to find herself here again.

Melody left a relationship with a man who clearly did not love or respect her. After months of refueling her self esteem and finally coming to terms with what she did and didn’t want from a relationship, Melody suddenly finds herself wading knee deep in the same crap she thought she’d gotten away from. This time the man is new and Melody can’t begin to fathom how she managed to let the same mess happen to her again.

Melody spent years starved for affection and attention. Melody anticipated the new man in her life would actually want to spend time with her. Would want them to hold hands and share time together. Instead her new guy seems content with the one hour per week he might manage to squeeze into his busy schedule for them to spend together. Melody clearly isn’t on his priority list and she’s the only one would seem to be having a problem with this.

For Melody, there were too many years wondering why the man who professed to love her, never wanted to make love to her. There had been too many years wondering if her breasts were too small or her ass too big because clearly there had to be something wrong with her that the man she loved didn’t see her as desirable. The new guy and Melody are setting a record for the number of days they can go without being intimate. Days have actually shifted into weeks. Any day now those weeks are going to shift into months and Melody finds herself questioning which of her body parts has offended him most.

Melody’s first relationship ended because there was no communication between them. Now, the list of things her and the new guy need to be talking about is getting lengthier and lengthier, every attempt at conversation interrupted by someone or something. Conversation is waning badly into a pit of polite small talk while the big issues go ignored and unresolved.

Clearly her new relationship has stalled miserably. And for whatever reasons, much like her last relationship, Melody is holding onto hope that somehow, something will change and the man she loves will love her back. Until then, Melody is keeping a smile on her face while the tears are flooding on the inside.

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