Wednesday, February 14, 2007


We’re celebrating love today! Personally, I don’t attach much significance to Valentine’s Day. Sure, it makes for a few great Hallmark moments, but I don’t need one specific day out of the year to tell the people who’ve captured a place in my heart that I love them. I do that every day, all year long. My son’s death taught me that time is too fleeting and relationships are too fragile to take them for granted. Red hearts, flowery cards, and little trinkets may feel good for the moment, but when the moment has passed I want to know that love still thrives and I want those I love to know it as well.

Tonight, the hubby and I are sending the son and his wife off for an evening of alone time, a little dinner and dancing if they’re so inclined. We understand that young parents need that time to recoup and be reminded of the emotions that brought them to this place to begin with. We plan to baby sit the munchkin and her big brother. Knowing I’ve got a tantrum or two or three ahead of me this evening will be a clear example of my love. My son and his wife can trust that no matter how much I might be tempted, I won’t be tying either of their children to a tree before they get back.

The hubby and I have settled into a comfortable routine for Valentine’s Day. Every year he leaves two cards on the kitchen counter for me to find before we head our separate ways for the day. One is sentimental and the other humorous. I rarely do cards. They hardly ever say what I’m actually feeling in my heart at the moment. Before the day is over I’ll surprise him somewhere with something I know he’s been wanting for a long time. Last year it was a kitchen gadget that we didn’t need but that he wanted. This year it’s a rotary tool. I’ll just pop up with my gift when he least expects me and I’ll just remind him why I’m still hanging in here after twenty-five-plus years. Then we plan a date night for later in the week, usually the Friday following Valentine’s Day. This year I want to just do dinner and a movie. Last year we did drag racing and hotdogs. His choice. I get to choose this year.

We’ve grown comfortable with our custom. Only once did I try to shake up the routine. It was early in our marriage and I thought I’d surprise him by picking him up at work in nothing but a trench coat. It was during a Connecticut winter. Slipping and sliding across the roads we landed in a snow bank. Three hours later, two state troopers and a tow truck finally got us home. Two children were running amuck as we walked in the door, the older brother in charge not having bothered to send them to bed. I had ice formations in every crease and crevice of my body and the hubby had attitude swearing that one of the troopers and the tow truck driver got a peek at my goodies when a gust of wind blew up the trench coat. Two days later I was bedridden, battling a nasty bronchial infection and a touch of pneumonia. I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with my clothes off anymore, at least not if I’m planning to leave the house.

Enjoy the day! Celebrate it! Revel in the beauty of love and all it has to offer. And even if you don’t have a significant other to celebrate with, celebrate the beauty of you and the love you should have for yourself. You deserve it. And not only on this day, but everyday of the year.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG!! Don't you know that trench coat thing only works in the movies!! LOL - I can almost see you trying to hide your stuff and maintain your dignity at the same time with the troopers. And I don't even want to think about how cold you were! I was bummed about spending another V-Day alone, but apparently there is a lot to be said for consistency. Enjoy your dinner & movie.