Friday, May 01, 2009


Ok, so insomnia and I are doing this weird dance with each other. He’s got me by my short hairs and is very much in control. Days without sleep will seriously mess with your psyche. I’m amazed at some of the crap that’s been racing through my head. Right now I’ve got new relationship anxiety and my relationship is truly no longer new.

Being a priority in a man’s life is a new animal I don’t know quite how to tame. It feels foreign to me. I keep trying to play but since I don’t know the rules, I don’t know how to participate. I keep tripping over myself, my spirit moving me off balance. I’m afraid that it is only a matter of time before I’ll go spinning out of control and end up flat on my face.

I should be reveling in all this attention but instead, I find myself questioning the motives behind it. Someone has got to want something from me ‘cause nothing this good comes without a price. Then all these little voices want to chime in, telling me to sit back and enjoy the ride. But not knowing how to do that, all I’m left with is insomnia holding my hand and pulling me along for one mean cha-cha.

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