Monday, September 14, 2009


Being in a new relationship sometimes requires you to walk a land mine of emotions. I find myself questioning how one can do any relationship successfully and not be selfish about it, most especially if it is not in one’s nature to be selfish. Must you be selfish with your time and yourself to have a successful relationship? Will being selfish with yourself and your time do your relationship more harm than good? I’m actually conflicted.

Where is that balance? Shouldn’t you be a little selfish in a relationship? My very special friend and I navigate family, friends, a business, and a host of responsibilities that eat up a significant portion of our time. There never seems to be enough hours in a day for just the two of us before we have to start our routines all over again. It leaves very little quality time for he and I together that doesn’t get interrupted by someone else’s needs. Were we both more selfish, we’d have more time together that we wouldn’t allow others to intrude on. But that is not the nature of either of us.

But it begs the question, are we short changing each other and our relationship by not being a little selfish? Is it wrong of us to want to have each other longer than an hour here or there where neither of us is fielding phone calls or putting out someone else’s fire? Do we do ourselves a disservice by not expecting and demanding more of each other’s time that isn’t about the drama others lay on us to resolve? Will the wanting and not having do more harm than good to the bond that exists between us?

I feel like we’re walking a land mine to balance our needs with our wants. And I keep waiting for the wrong step when it all explodes around us.

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