Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Attached women do not like to see their single female friends unattached. For whatever reason it seems to throw off their scales of checks and balance.

Since the ex-hubby and I parted ways every married friend that I have has come out of the woodworks to find me a man. I’ve been introduced to more potential prospects than I care to count, men raining down all over the place. Everyone I know has a friend who has a friend that I should meet. I have a male acquaintance who jokingly said that this has nothing to do with our girlfriend support network but more about the girlfriends being worried about some single honey in desperation mode coming after their man.

Historically, meeting men has never been my problem, whether I was married or single. I have a great network of really close friends and most of them are male. I was never a woman who couldn’t find a date if I were so inclined or one was needed. Getting rid of a man has proven to be more of a challenge for me than attracting one has ever been. I’ve had ex’s to hang on like they were on life support and I was the one and only line to the oxygen tank. I’ve been stalked, chased, hounded and otherwise annoyed by members of the male species when I least expect it.

I’m not much of a casual dater either. Dating Johnny for dinner on Tuesday, Bobby for lunch on Wednesday, while dancing with Pedro Friday night just does not move me. It typically doesn’t take me long to size a brother up to determine whether or not we’re going to hit it off. After being married for as long as I was I’ve discovered that I’m truly a one-man, long-term relationship kind of gal. It either works or it doesn’t and if it doesn’t, I’m not wasting but so much of my time. I've been there, done that, and I ain’t doing it ever again! If it does work I have no problems dancing in the moment to see just how far it will last before the flavor runs out.

My best friends says I need to use the time I have to myself now to do some self-reflection, to get to know me and what I want. I tend to disagree. Self-reflection is hardly what I need. Deciding to end a marriage that consumed my entire adult life left me more than enough self-reflection time. I know more things about myself than I probably care to, the good and the bad. And if I know anything at all, I definitely know what I do and don’t want in a partner.

Balancing the scales has its moments but I don’t have any problems being alone with me, myself, and I, either. I appreciate the efforts my friends are putting forth but I’d be just as content if they didn’t think I’d be compatible with every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a job. Desperate is not the mode I'm in right now!


Anonymous said...

I have come to the conclusion that reading your blogs are jsut as exciting as reading one of your books. I guess the difference is in the blogs you are keeping it real. I am glad I decided to log on to see if htere is a new book coming now I can experience your writing more frequently. Very much like you I love to dance but some things ain't for everybody at least not in public! I viewed that slide to Just fine and Bam it set me back about 7 line dances!

Deborah Mello said...

Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by and hope you'll keep coming back.