Wednesday, November 19, 2008


Kelly and I were talking about being lonely. There was a hurt that resonated in her words and my heart when she asked if one ever truly gets over loneliness.

We rationalized that loneliness can be a cruel companion if you allow it to be. It can wear down your energy and beat away your spirit. Recognizing that loneliness isn’t about being alone is that light bulb moment when you have to admit that you’re not only unsatisfied with the people in your life, but that you’re also unsatisfied with yourself. Getting over loneliness begins with learning how to enjoy your own solitude. It’s about being confident with who you are, how you feel, and what you want for yourself. It's also about knowing who you want to share yourself with.

Both Kelly and I acknowledged that loneliness can move a person to look for illogical amusements. But temptations like drugs and alcohol only leave you numb, and meaningless sex becomes easy and empty. They almost always leave you unsatisfied, still craving something more meaningful that will make you feel whole and confident.

Reflecting back on our lives and our own moments of loneliness we both recognized that we’ve come a long way. Being alone no longer invokes feelings of doom and catastrophe, when being alone feels like a death sentence. Neither of us is desperate for attention or camaraderie. Not like before.

But we admit to still having our moments when companionship is missed and there are moments of longing. We’re proud that we’ve made great progress but we admit…we still have our moments.

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