Friday, November 14, 2008


For those of you who are basking in the sexual revolution, getting your groove back or your freak on, be mindful. What you can do on the east coast of these here United States, might not be tolerable on the west coast.

Did you know it’s illegal to engage in oral sex in the following states: Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington D.C.? (I’m sorry, baby, but we’ll have to move if you want me to lick your lollipop!!)

And don’t be getting’ your man all hot and bothered behind these here borders because it’s illegal for your man’s erection to show through his clothing in these states: Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington D.C. and Wisconsin. (Really officer, I’m not happy, that’s a gun in my pocket. I swear!)

If you’re in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, don’t have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. It’s jail time for you if you do. (Now, you might be able to get around that one if you’re actually in a truck!)

It’s also illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.

Pity the poor girls in Willowdale, Oregon. Hubby can’t talk dirty in his wife’s ear during sex least he risk being arrested. (Yes, Judge, and then he starting moaning, "Oh, baby! Mud, slime, dust! I never heard such filth, your Honor!)

And for those of you in Newcastle, Wyoming, your fantasy of having sex in a butcher shop’s meat freezer is out of the question ‘cause the law says you can’t do the deed in the vicinity of frozen beef. (And I know that one was on the top of your fantasy list!)

So, if you’re traveling out and about and the moment should suddenly move you, tread on the side of caution. Don’t video tape a thing and deny it all.

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