YOU GO GIRL!

Okay. So Oprah had Janet Jackson on to promote her new album 20YO. Girlfriend lost some 60 pounds in four months to get ready. She said she’d blown right up, packing the weight on in the first place to prepare for a movie role that fell through.

They introduced her trainer and her nutritionist to confirm that she lost the weight the healthy way, eating right and exercising her butt off. Now I have a nutritionist and trainer too, thanks to my Duke study, and both said yes, it’s very possible but that I shouldn’t expect to go from fat to fabulous the way Janet did, and definitely not in four months. Uh, I’m sorry, but why not? I can wear fabulous. Hell, I’ve been wearing fat just fine so me and fabulous should be a piece of cake, or celery.

Someone else said that’s what money can do for a body. I’d agree but I ain’t got no money. And, even if you can afford that trainer and nutritionist, someone telling you to lift that leg one more time isn’t going to get it up off the floor and above your head if you’re not inclined to rotate it up and out of your hip socket. Trust me. I know. When I don’t want to lift it, I’m not going to lift it and no amount of cash I’m paying a trainer is going to change my mind. So I give Janet her props ‘cause that had to be some serious exercising she was doing.

Losing weight is HARD. It’s hard work and I hate hard work. I hate exercise. I hate food that tastes like rubber and cardboard. And no amount of training and nutritioning makes the work any easier if one isn’t inclined to just do it and keep it up. So, Janet, you go girl! I’m headed to the gym right now and I have a few choice words for my trainer guy. ‘Cause I can do fabulous! You just watch me.