Tuesday, July 19, 2016

DAMMIT, DO BETTER!


I love reading. I get excited when I discover a new author or find an outstanding story. I’m eager to leave reviews and share with others my new finds. When a book or story is lackluster, leaving me less than thrilled, I usually remain silent. I know the effort that an author has put into a story. I know how hurtful a bad review can be. It is not for me to dash anyone else’s dream because what I might not have liked, someone else may have loved.
Recently I read books that left me disappointed, and angry. One was an award-winning title, the author gleefully claiming a coveted statue for her efforts. Clearly what I hated, others found award-worthy. And that actually scares me. The story was as well-written as any other in the genre. Its formulaic plot hit all the buttons that her publisher required. But as a woman of color, I found it as insulting and as distasteful as any story I have ever read.
The story featured a Native American heroine. She had self-esteem issues, continually questioning her worth. Her mother had ten kids by four different men and had sex in the backseat of cars while her eldest child raised her bastard children. Authors words, not mine. She wasn’t sure who her daddy was. In comes the white hero to give her life “value and purpose” and to tell her it’s okay if she has sex with him. That won’t make her like her mother. The entire tone of the story was condescending and gut-wrenching.
The next book had me fuming before page ten and I had to stop myself from railing that emotion in a review. Heroine is “passing” for white. Her mother was a black, drug-addicted prostitute whose children had been sent to foster care. Her father is unknown, assumed to be white, because she can “pass” but she’s not sure. As a black woman’s child “she had no value.” Becoming white “made her valuable.” An African-American baby is found in the trash, the discovery pulling at her heartstrings because he reminds her of her baby brother who died in foster care. There’s a reference to crack babies here which was unnecessary to the nth degree. The hero’s reaction to finding a newborn black baby in the trash? “This is disgusting.” To which she responds by ignoring his comment because she’s too busy getting all goose pimply at seeing his bare chest.
I can't even begin to express my sheer disgust with the interracial historical that paired a black woman with a Klu Klux Klan member. From his offering to pay her for sex to her wanting him to join the Klan spoke volumes about a writer who clearly has had no experience with or knowledge of the Klan and the painful history that surrounds them. Perhaps she should find the racist pamphlets threatening to beat and castrate black men and rape black women before gutting them, on her front porch as so many in North Carolina were greeted with just this week. I was appalled on many levels, starting with the blatant stereotypes and ending with the latent racism. That anyone would find any of this acceptable in the year 2016 defies all logic.
With the call for more diversity in books and publishing, twitter hashtags extolling #weneeddiversebooks and #ownvoices, publishers have been calling on their white authors to add characters of color to their storylines. There have been conference meetings on the topics, closed door discussions in publishing houses, even secret calls to authors not of color that no one is supposed to know about. If writing like this is their answer to more diversity, they seriously need to do better.
Maybe what needs to be stressed is that we need diverse books that don’t perpetuate ignorance, reinforce negative stereotypes and demean any people. Most especially not in romance. Maybe what needs to be addressed is why diverse authors writing their stories are often overlooked or shuffled to the back of the bus…I mean bookstore. Why aren’t authors of color pandered to or promoted as significantly as their white counterparts? How come they count for less than 3% of a publisher’s roster? Why does this still need to even be a discussion when publisher after publisher has promised time and time again to do better, be different, make a change? How hard is it to publish diverse authors and their stories? Why not put your marketing monies behind books written by diverse authors writing their own stories? Why does it take rocket science to just do what's right?
As a black woman, I say this to any author wanting to just throw in a black character into their stories, most especially a black woman. Know us before you write about us. If your only experience with anyone of color is what you see on television or your infrequent encounter with a person of color in passing, tread cautiously. Because we don’t question our value. We know our value. We don’t need any man, black or white, to give our lives purpose. There is no one, black, white or yellow who needs to validate our worth. We’ve known our value since the days of slavery. Just because we were told we were worthless, certainly didn’t make it true, nor did we fall for that flagrant lie. Not then. Not now.
We know our value which is why we are fighting tooth and nail for the respect that we are continually being denied.
Why we fight to see our faces on the screen and in the media being the amazing females and people that we are.
Why we fight to get our stories read.
Why we write.
Now, dammit, do better.

Saturday, July 09, 2016

WHAT DO WE TELL THEM NOW?



Like many families this week, we were having a discussion about the two African-American men, Alton Sterling and Philando Castile who were gunned down by police officers, the despicable acts captured on video and streaming over social media. And then the subsequent act of vigilantism where a young black man allegedly ambushed and shot ten police officers in Dallas, Texas in retaliation.
Remembering back when I was a little girl and my father owned a business in the community where he often encountered black boys and young black men, many who had no father, I recalled how he would advise them on how to behave whenever encountering the police. I remember him telling them to always ensure their hands could be seen. To keep their fingers wrapped around the steering wheel if they were in a car. To hold them, palms open, high above their heads if they were on the street. I remember his admonishments to always be respectful, “Yes, sir! No, sir.” To comply with whatever was asked of them. To verbally announce any movement they intended to make before making it – “Officer, may I reach for my wallet?” I remember him saying that they would feel threatened and violated but that their end goal was to walk away from the encounter alive and able to tell the story.
I watched my father and my godfather execute these actions many times when they themselves were stopped by police. Two affluent black men with homes in white, middle-class neighborhoods. Two educated black men with their own businesses. Two responsible black men known, active, and visible in the community. I remembered the lessons and I told my own sons, often, what my father had told so many others.
I asked him, after the events this week, where one young black man did everything right and was still gunned down. In cold blood. Executed. Murdered. What do we tell them now when they do comply? When they do what they’re supposed to do and they are still killed? In cold blood. Executed. Murdered. What else are they supposed to do now? And what do we say to young black boys and men who are angry? And frustrated? Who want justice? And to be treated fairly, with respect? Men who feel emasculated and out of control? What do we tell them now?
After a moment of pause, he said, “We are in some seriously dark times. We all need to be praying. And black men now, more than ever, still need to protect themselves and their families, by any means necessary. They need to insure they can walk away, alive, and able to tell the story. So, tell them to pray. To listen with their hearts before acting in haste and rage. To pray for guidance and resolution. Now, more than ever, tell them to pray.”


Tuesday, May 31, 2016

AWARD WINNING AUTHOR


I am humbled and honored.
Being acknowledged for what I love to do is a blessing.
I am grateful!




Tuesday, February 09, 2016

TEA PARTY GIVEAWAY!


Are you NOT able to make The Diamond's Literary Tea Party on Saturday, February 13, 2016 from 12:00 - 3:00pm at the 21C Museum Hotel in Durham, NC? We're sure going to miss you!

But we don't want you to miss out!

Enter for your chance to WIN a DIAMOND TEA PARTY GIFT BOX!

What's in a Diamond Tea Party Gift Box?
  • All the gift bag swag from the Literary Tea Party event.
  • A wonderful selection of books from all the participating authors! Fourteen authors means fourteen plus books. Maybe even an advanced read or two. You'll be delightfully surprised!
  • A wonderful selection of books from non-participating authors! Too many books to list but we'll be giving you sneak peeks on Deborah Fletcher Mello's Facebook page throughout the week!
  • Gift cards from Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com to buy your own favorite books!
  • A monogrammed throw with your name embroidered on it to wrap around you as you curl up with your favorite literary read.
  • Tea! Yes, Tea! And everything for the perfect pot and cup of tea! Includes a ceramic teapot and teacup set, teabag caddy, tea infuser, assorted organic and herbal teas, biscotti, tea cookies and other delicious treats!
  • One (1) Ticket to Iris Bolling's The Heart: Season 2 PREMIER and SCREENING in Richmond, Virginia - Saturday, March 12, 2016. (Transportation and accommodations are the sole responsibility of the winner so you have to get yourself there and find a place to stay. We'll get you in the door and take pictures with you on the red carpet!)
Tickets are available for sale now until Saturday, February 13, 2016. The winner will be announced on Sunday, February 14, 2016.

Gift Box value: $500

Sunday, January 31, 2016

IN THE MIDST OF GREATNESS

I am sitting in the midst of greatness. Twenty-six female authors came together in Destin, Florida this weekend to celebrate their love of literature and their joy for writing. They came from all corners of the country, at varying levels in their writing careers. There are the seasoned professionals, the mid-list authors, and the newbies. They are all spirited, driven, and determined to transcend the perception of who they are as black women and as black women who write.

They have gathered to share information and perfect their craft. What they each do is an art and not one takes the responsibility of being better at it lightly. The abundance of support and encouragement is monumental, each wanting the others to do their very best in an industry that often takes them and their talents for granted.

Laughter has been abundant, resonating through every room of their rented beach house. There have even been a few tears of frustration as they shared the trials and tribulations that make what they do a challenge. But there is an understanding that they do not walk this path alone.

They’ve shared the best of themselves. There have been new bonds of friendship and alliances formed. It’s a sisterhood of magnanimous proportions and as I sit, watching, listening, and learning, I can sense a revolution of sorts in the making.

I am in the midst of greatness and I can’t wait for others to see what comes from the excellence that sits together in this room.

Monday, January 25, 2016

ANGRY AS HELL...


I’m angry. I’m a mother of black sons and I’m angry. 2015 was eye-opening for too many. Last year young black men were dropping like flies at the hands of those who lied about serving and protecting. Suddenly, the N-word that Jay-Z claimed he and his generation were taking and using to empower the black male has been taken back and reclaimed, its original connotation like a banner for racists who don’t bother to wear hoods anymore. Now, little white girls print the letters on tee shirts and use the word for photo ops.
I sat and listened as a group of young men bemoaned the arrest of a fellow friend and college classmate. He’d been pulled over in his girlfriend’s car for a broken taillight. When asked if the officer could search the car, he gave consent, knowing that he had no reason to be concerned. Minutes later he was surrounded by two other patrol cars, the officer claiming dried, crushed leaves on the floor board had to be remnants of marijuana. After being handcuffed and held on the ground, the young man walked away with three citations to appear in court, a $1500 bill for legal counsel to fight the allegations and his feelings bruised at how he’d been treated as he left home heading to his second job of the day. All charges were thrown out but the stigma of it all has left this young man bitter and angry. Knowing that the local police delight in playing with their lives, using them for quota practice, had them all questioning why they even bother to try and do right.
The young men began to recite their individual tales of police harassment and as the mother of black sons I got angry. One young man no longer feels comfortable riding with his long-time girlfriend at night. Twice now they’ve been stopped, the police asking her to exit the car to question if she was being held against her will. Apparently with her pale complexion, hazel eyes and natural blonde afro she looks like she might be in trouble when riding with her Hershey’s chocolate male friend. When she questioned the officers reason for being concerned he actually said something about them being together just not looking kosher.
Another was so excited to show off his brand new car. He’d worked hard to be rewarded with a vehicle of his own and after all the add-on’s he had a real show piece on his hand. For him, going from his home to the corner store is like navigating a land mine. One weekend he was stopped a total of six times because he and the car his parents gifted him, looked suspicious.
These are good kids. A few have been guilty of doing some really stupid things. But what teenager hasn’t done dumb a time or two? But suddenly, black youth are being criminalized for breathing, their mere presence hazardous to their own health. Their degradation isn't unique to the South or the small towns because on a daily basis there are reports of similar situations happening nationwide. Their mistreatment of young black boys and men and the presumption of their guilt starts earlier and earlier and knowing that a ten-year-old can lose his life by cop for playing with a toy, should make us all angry as hell.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

DEAR SANTA!

Santa Baby, hello!

I’ll make this short and sweet since you have your hands full right now. As I write this, Santa Tracker puts you somewhere in the vicinity of Frankfurt, Germany. You really have to love technology! With all eyes on you, there’s no hiding, so don’t think you can sneak off for a quick coffee break and we not know about it!

Personally, I haven’t been feeling the magic this season, Santa. But I know it’s coming. At least I hope it kicks in when I get in that kitchen to knock out the pies I have to make for Christmas dinner tomorrow! If that fails, then I’ll just have to wait until I can see all my little munchkins tomorrow. Watching them open their presents will surely have me singing and swinging and getting merry!

I actually don’t want anything for myself this year, Santa. It’s been a very good year and I have been abundantly blessed. I even got that “pony” you didn’t get me those many years ago. Named him Titus and he’s the prettiest, slickest ride you’ll ever see!
Big Daddy has been my rock this year. Talk about a girl feeling loved! Sending him my way was probably one of the best things you’ve ever done for me, Santa Baby! It’ll be hard for you to top that!
My only request this year Santa is that you please drop a little joy and happiness on the families who are dealing with loss and hardship this year. Those who’ve had to bury loved ones, others displaced from their homes, anyone enduring tragedy this holiday season. Wrap everyone in the spirit of the season and let them know how much love you have for them and theirs.
I’m tossing a ton of cyber hugs and kisses into your bag and I hope you’ll share a nuzzle and cuddle with anyone who might benefit from a kind word and a helping hand. Despite all our wishes and dreams, Santa, there’s too much happening in the world today that a pretty box with a bow can’t fix. So throw in a smile with the gifts you do give, my friend. It might be the best thing any of us receives this year.
Keep your head down and an eye on those reindeer! I hear Rudolph might have gotten into the egg nog a little earlier than usual and Dancer and Prancer have taken the Whip/Nae Nae to a whole other level.
Much love to you, big guy!
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

THE DIAMOND'S LITERARY TEA PARTY


You are cordially invited to join award-winning, national best-selling author, Deborah Fletcher Mello and Deborah's Diamonds for a Literary Tea Party to celebrate a season of romance, literature, writing, and books!


Deborah is excited to announce and welcome the following participating authors:


Morgan Billingsley
ReShonda Tate Billingsley
Iris Bolling
Cassandra Durham
Renee Daniel Flagler
Cheris Hodges
Denise Jeffries
Jackie Lee
Lutishia Lovely
Dana Sanders
Railyn Stone
Jacquelin Thomas
Lisa Watson



And our event MC is the indomitable, Lasheera Lee!

Impress in your Sunday best, show off that magnificent Kentucky Derby hat and join us for an afternoon of great story-telling, delightful conversation, and tons of laughter!

Books will be available for sale and participating authors will be available for signing.

Tickets: $25 includes lunch, participant gift bag and one-on-one interaction with participating authors. 

Tickets are available from the Eventbrite and must be purchased in advance. 

There will be no ticket sales at the door!


Monday, November 02, 2015

ON MY HEART TO SAY

I was recently reminded that every experience is, or can be, a life lesson. In a recent conversation with another author it quickly became apparent that our ideologies were at different ends of the spectrum. So much so that I found myself retreating away from the talk, knowing that if I said what was on my heart to say, it would surely have been a spectacle. I can just imagine the Twitter feeds about how I showed up and showed out!

After ranting to Big Daddy I had to sit down and think about what I took away from the conversation. This person and I are at different levels in our careers. I don’t think she sees me as a peer because I don’t have the big movie deal and my books are only printed in paperback. And she clearly has issues with authors who are still finding their way in this business. Goodness knows you better not ask her for advice if you aren’t interested in being fodder for what she hates about aspiring writers!

I found her jaded, her position regarding supporting and promoting others so vastly different from my own that it wasn't funny. If her level of success breeds that kind of contempt I neither need nor want it. I thrive on being a positive influence in the lives of people who cross my path. I strive to write stories that inspire and encourage. I can’t be my best if I’m not encouraging and supporting others and emulating the wonderful women who did, and continue to do, the same for me.

She is entitled to her opinion and I don’t write this to indict her for feeling how she feels. But I can’t sit idly by and have anyone think that I endorse or support that kind of attitude. I bit back what I wanted to say. I second-guessed what I should have said. But what I learned from this experience is that not saying anything at all didn’t serve either one of us well. Had I spoke up and said what was on my heart to say, maybe she could have taken her own lesson away from the conversation. And I wouldn't be feeling some kind of way.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!



Halloween use to be one of my favorite holidays. I loved creating costumes for my children. We use to take the art of dress up to new heights. But those days are long gone! I'm tempted to get dressed myself but it's only a very mild maybe, not an intense got to do it kind of thing. I am however enjoying the neighbors and their children and may take a trip to the mall later to see the kiddies do their trick or treat thing. So to everyone who sees the craft, and art, and simple joy in the holiday, have fun with it. There is so much negative in the world these days that to take a moment for the frivolous and nonsensical just makes all kinds of sense!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

LET'S PLAY!


Wanna play for KEEPS?
 Click the link and order your copy of PLAYING FOR KEEPS today.
Then tell TWO (2) friends to order their copies.
Tell those friends to tell TWO (2) more friends!
How far and wide does your friend list go?
How many friends can you get to come play?
I say the sky's the limit!
So, let's PLAY!




Monday, October 19, 2015

RUINED...or NOT?

So, I’m watching one of my favorite ratchet reality TV shows. One of the story lines this season involves a young gay male who has just told his high school sweetheart that there is no future for the two of them because...well...he likes men more than he likes her. Of course, she is devastated, throwing herself to the ground and crying for her mommy.

Now the mental health expert who was supposed to be facilitating this conversation lost complete control as cutie-patootie stormed into the bathroom to avoid the conflict and baby girl hurled herself out the front door. Later, Ms. Psych 101 told him that his best female friend was hurt but that his disclosure HAD NOT RUINED her. This has led to an interesting conversation in my home.

I didn’t agree. I think Ms. Psych 101 might be wrong. How a woman handles heartbreak depends on the woman. And this woman may very well be ruined. Who’s to say she won’t be embittered for years to come? And clearly, she may have a multitude of trust issues that will hinder her future relationships. The baggage this devastation has left her with might carry over into her next relationship and the one after that and the one after that. Baby girl might walk away from this completely unscathed and then again, maybe she won't. I surely don't know and neither does the expert.

My beloved grandmother was a woman who was ruined by heartbreak. At the tender of age of sixteen she fell in love with a man who loved her and a few other young women at the same time. Discovering she was pregnant before her eighteenth birthday had her intent on a happily ever after. Then it hit the fan. Granddaddy was forced into a shotgun wedding but grandmother wasn’t the bride. It seems she wasn’t the only eighteen-year old about to mother granddad's offspring. But she was the eighteen-year old whose father found out way too late to make gramps do right by her!

Granny took a lifetime of resentment to her grave. The hurt she experienced was so magnanimous that it impacted every decision she would later make for herself and her son. It also kept her from opening herself to love later in life, unable to approach new relationships with an open mind and hopeful heart. As a young girl I would often think about the advice she’d offer, always warning me to be cautious with my own heart because no man could be trusted. She was never able to let what grandpa did to her go. It made her bitter and angry and calculating when it came to men and matters of the heart. Heartbreak ruined her and unlike the stories I love to tell, her happy ending was never the stuff of a good romance novel.


THANK YOU AND GOODBYE FOR NOW!

I remember when I first started this blog. It was 19-years ago and I anxiously anticipated it running on forever and ever. Because I loved t...