ON MY HEART TO SAY

I was recently reminded that every experience is, or can be, a life lesson. In a recent conversation with another author it quickly became apparent that our ideologies were at different ends of the spectrum. So much so that I found myself retreating away from the talk, knowing that if I said what was on my heart to say, it would surely have been a spectacle. I can just imagine the Twitter feeds about how I showed up and showed out!

After ranting to Big Daddy I had to sit down and think about what I took away from the conversation. This person and I are at different levels in our careers. I don’t think she sees me as a peer because I don’t have the big movie deal and my books are only printed in paperback. And she clearly has issues with authors who are still finding their way in this business. Goodness knows you better not ask her for advice if you aren’t interested in being fodder for what she hates about aspiring writers!

I found her jaded, her position regarding supporting and promoting others so vastly different from my own that it wasn't funny. If her level of success breeds that kind of contempt I neither need nor want it. I thrive on being a positive influence in the lives of people who cross my path. I strive to write stories that inspire and encourage. I can’t be my best if I’m not encouraging and supporting others and emulating the wonderful women who did, and continue to do, the same for me.

She is entitled to her opinion and I don’t write this to indict her for feeling how she feels. But I can’t sit idly by and have anyone think that I endorse or support that kind of attitude. I bit back what I wanted to say. I second-guessed what I should have said. But what I learned from this experience is that not saying anything at all didn’t serve either one of us well. Had I spoke up and said what was on my heart to say, maybe she could have taken her own lesson away from the conversation. And I wouldn't be feeling some kind of way.