Tuesday, December 27, 2016

HOW TO GET THERE



I didn’t bother with my Santa letter this year. There was nothing I wanted to ask the jolly guy that I haven’t already asked for before. Nothing that he hasn’t already heard from most of us. And I knew he had his hands full. This year has been a bear. 2016 came in hard, body-slammed most of us and seems determined to kick us while we’re down as it heads out. But 2016 be damned. I’ll be happy to see it slide right on out of here and I don’t need to wave goodbye or wish it well.
Disappointment has been the benchmark for most of my goals this past year. I accept full responsibility for that because I've not been good about doing everything I know I needed to do to be successful. The writing took a turn that felt like I’d been sucker punched. Family issues had me reeling over and over again. I’ve been struggling both professionally and personally and I was past ready to be done and finished with it all.
Just when I was ready to toss in a multitude of towels, there was a shift in the atmosphere. The sun and the moon aligned just so and everything suddenly changed. Blessings were abundant, coming when I least expected them. Prayer worked more than one miracle and there was much I had to be grateful for.
So why am I still so unhappy? Why am I constantly angry? Because discontent is rearing an ugly head and I can’t begin to explain or even understand why I can’t get past whatever is consuming me. But I’m frustrated and tense and constantly uneasy about the simplest things. It’s wearing me down and somehow, some way, I need to figure out how to throw it onto the sinking ship that has been this year. Because I need 2017 to be better.
Big things are happening in the new year. Career goals are shifting and relationships are evolving. I need to enjoy and revel in each moment, to enjoy the victories I know are coming. I need me to be better so that I can do better. I need what’s in my head to mesh with what is in my heart. I need my spirit to be fully engaged if I’m going to make it through.  I need it all to work and balance and be well and I want to be happy about it all. Happy. I refuse to accept anything less. I just need to figure out how to get there.

2 comments:

Iris Bolling said...

Deborah how elegant and accurate your words are. The words could have easily taken us into the abyss of despair, but it did not. They summed up 2016 and wrapped it in hope for the coming year. Here is my prayer for you. I pray 2017 will continue to allow you to share your words of wisdom, for they touch lives. I pray 2017 will bring you a wealth of stories to share with your readers the way only YOU can intrigue us. I pray 2017 brings you the prosperity you want and deserve. For that will allow you to continue with your goals. Last, I pray 2017 brings you and your family the blessings of a healthy, loving peace. For that will put a smile in your heart. Happy New Year Deborah.

Deborah Mello said...

Thank you Iris! I am blessed to call you a friend and greatly appreciate all the love you continue to demonstrate to me and so many others. Thank you for lifting me in prayer and may you be equally blessed in the New Year!