DATES FOR CHARITY 2009

Oh, my goodness! Where do I begin?!

Despite a few bumps along the way my bachelor auction was very successful Saturday night. Although severe thunderstorms and torrential rains kept the crowds at bay, there were still a good number of diehard supporters who showed up to give the foundation their endorsement.

I wish I could report that we made tons of money for future scholarships but unfortunately such was not the case. We’re still tallying the numbers but it would appear that we at least broke even, the bills got paid and the endowment fund has a nice start. I’ll take that. I know that we set a standard and that next year it will only be better.

I also know that everyone who participated had an exceptional time. My volunteers were extraordinary and the folks who gathered to support us made the experience worthwhile. We partied until the wee hours of the morning and I am still trying to recover.

I loved everything about this. I value each and every lesson I learned. I absolutely adore every person who gave so freely of themselves and their time. Plans are already spinning in my head to do it all again soon.

Did I say how much I absolutely loved this?

FAIR WARNING

I once warned a man not to disappoint me. I don’t take kindly to disappointment. Too many years with a man who had no consideration for my feelings will do that to you. This man assured me I had nothing to worry about, making promises that he swore he could keep. He promised and I warned him. It didn’t take a hot minute before the excuses came. Suddenly what he assured me he would do, he couldn’t. He was apologetic, insisting that had it been possible he would have surely followed through on his assurances. Unfortunately for me, and through no fault of his own, stuff just happened.

And just like that I didn’t have an ounce of umph for the brother. Men like him come and go and leaving is the best thing he will ever be able to do for me. I don’t have the time or energy for second chances. Disappoint me once and once is all you will ever have.

But no one can say I didn’t give him fair warning.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Mark is a good guy. Most folks would say he is too good, unable to say no when it’s no that he should be saying. At least that’s what his girl Lisa thinks. Lisa’s a little miffed because every time Mark’s ex-wife calls for his time and attention he can’t ever seem to say no. Just this week, the ex needed to borrow something Mark had and Mark almost fell over himself getting it to her. Lisa had some serious issues with this. Mark says Lisa is making too much out of nothing.

And maybe it would be nothing if Mark’s ex-wife wasn’t interested in reconciling their relationship. It would most definitely be nothing if the ex-wife had clearly moved on with her life. But the woman is still holding on to hope that she and Mark might make their thing a thing again. I can see where this might be a problem for Lisa since Mark doesn’t want to see anything wrong with it at all.

Mark is playing with emotion that doesn’t need to be played with. Give a woman something to doubt and that uncertainty will ravage her spirit and her love. Toying with a woman’s wants and desires can also prove to be problematic when it doesn’t have to be. Whatever game Mark is playing may not serve him well in the end. Mark might be wise to proceed with much caution.

HIDING IN A CLOSET

Karen found herself sitting in a closet while her guy handled business with his ex-wife. Almost three years into a relationship and she is hiding in a closet so that there is no drama with her man’s baby mama. Already fragile, this was the straw that broke her spirit and sent her into a downward spiral.

I couldn’t help but remember an editor who was reviewing a story submission. The female character had hit rock bottom and was struggling to find her way in the world. After reviewing the manuscript this female editor wrote back that no self-respecting woman would allow herself to be treated so miserably. I wrote back that no woman knows what she will allow until she is put into a situation that she has never been put in before. All women would hope that they react and do the right thing. Sometimes knowing what that might be isn’t so cut and dry.

When that doorbell rang and boyfriend reacted, Karen reacted with him. He pointed to the closet and there she stood in wait. I only had one thing to say about the situation. It’s been three years and boyfriend still needs to hide her from his ex? Karen might want to open her eyes and do some serious soul searching. Clearly, her man being more concerned with his ex than with her, says more about their relationship than either of them seems willing to admit.

FUNDRAISING 101

Ask and you shall receive!

I am in awe of all the incredible people who have stepped up to assist me with my fundraising endeavors and who have agreed to participate in our benefit auction. Donations have been rolling in and my earlier anxiety has been replaced with something so much sweeter.

It’s been raining men, and a few women, and I am so excited that I am about to bust!

Recently someone asked why I decided to do a Bachelor / Bachelorette auction. And the answer is simply that I wanted to do something different that would make people smile, connect unlikely liaisons and do a whole lot of good at the same time.

So what have I learned in Fundraising 101 thus far?

That this is going to be a wonderful event. That I may actually pull this off with relatively few glitches. That it may take us a penny at a time to reach the lofty goals I've set but I'm confident that we will get there. That I’m gaining invaluable information to use the next time around. And most importantly, I’m meeting and discovering a host of new people with the biggest hearts and the most generous spirits.

I’m really liking these lessons a lot!

YOUNG BROTHER WISDOM

The young brother fancies himself to be a wise soul of sorts. His youthful wisdom has, at times, provoked much thought. His attentive ear and compassionate spirit opens him up to much drama, other people bending his ear for sage advice.

I eavesdropped on a conversation he was having with an acquaintance, a young friend whose heart had been broken by a philandering boy. The girl dropped her burdens on the young brother's shoulders enlisting his support and encouragement. Not knowing what to do, if anything at all, girlfriend was wanting the young brother to tell her where next she should turn.

"You're a pretty girl," he asserted firmly. "Pretty inside and out, and if he can't see that then he doesn't deserve you. But we don't know what we have until it's gone. Now that you're not there all the time he has finally realized what he has lost. But you can't let one person from your past hold you back from your future. You might run into the perfect guy and you won't be able to love him because of someone who is playing around with your heart. I can't tell you to leave and I can't tell you to stay. I can only tell you that your heart deserves better."

Youthful wisdom from a fifteen-year old young brother.

ALONE IN THE DARK

Sitting by my grandmother’s bedside I was remembering moments in time when I had more questions than I had answers, when nothing made sense and everything seemed reasonable. She use to sit at the kitchen table, in the dark, drinking alone. I would wonder why but I didn’t dare ask. Her glass would be heavy with the dark umber of a bitter bourbon or scotch, whatever her preference was at that moment. Sadly, when she drank, she could be cruel and I knew better than to incite her wrath. But I couldn’t help but wonder why she drank alone.

Sitting there, remembering, I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I was actually surprised when she answered.

“You remember that?”

“I do.”

“Drinking took the weight off.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The weight of the world. Drinking took it off my shoulders.”

“Were things that bad for you?”

“Not things, baby. Usually just a man.”

“All of them?”

“Most of them.”

“Enough to make you drink?”

“Enough to make me want to stop the train and get off this ride for as long as I could.”

“They broke your spirit.”

She paused. “No, they didn’t break nothin’. They just slipped in and took what they wanted until there was nothing else left to take.”

“And drinking made it better?”

“Drinking made it bearable.”

“But you stopped drinking and everything seemed just fine.”

She laughed. “It was. That’s when I got rid of the men in my life too.”

I laughed with her. Then I remembered the last real boyfriend in her life. He was a bear of a man. Well over six feet tall and solid muscle. He kept her draped in fur and diamonds and there was nothing that she wanted for. Theirs was a volatile relationship and the day he kicked in my daddy’s front door to get to her, was the last day I ever saw of him. He kicked that door and my daddy kicked him. Granny never drank alone, in the dark, after that.