I’ve been slightly out of sync for months now. But not out of sync in
a bad way. Necessity had me redefining my needs, re-evaluating my wants and re-shifting
my focus. Relationships were transformed, redefined and a few had to be abandoned.
The path to clarity was met with some confusion and a little conflict. Some,
who were unhappy with my choices, spoke badly of me behind my back, thinking I
would never hear their version of my truth. What was most hurtful were the
outright lies spoken by another, a need for attention usurping what was right
for everything that was wrong. Those outside the situations continue to wait
with bated breath for me to share, desperate for a hint of tea to be spilled. I
hope they aren’t holding their collective breaths for that to ever happen. Those
who know me, know I don’t operate that way.
I was off balance and feeling on edge for a minute or two.
Then just like that life shifted me exactly where I needed to be and with that
shift came an abundance of understanding. I threw the emotion that came with
all that into my writing. My writing has always been the best vessel for me to contain
and devolve my feelings. Hurt plays out sweetly when I can kill off a
character, or make my hero cry. Betrayal isn’t as glaring when I can pull the
knife from my own back and stab the bad guy with it. After spilling blood on
forty pages of a new book I felt amazing.
Life throws us lessons when they’re needed the most. I’ve
learned that some people on your life journey aren’t destined to travel the path
you may decide to take. Your mission may not be their mission. Others don’t deserve
to take the trip, no matter how much you might want to drag them along. More
importantly, I had to accept that calling someone a friend doesn’t mean they
are.
At my age, my tolerance for bullshit has dwindled
substantially. Individuals who have mistaken my kindness for meekness should tread
lightly. I’m liable to snap when it’s least expected. I just don’t have the
time or the patience for being petty, angry, and stupid. Because life is short. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so I
choose to focus on making today the best damn day it can possible be, for myself and for others.
I plan to keep writing for as long as I’m able. This
literary journey has proven to be the best medicine for everything that has
ever ailed me. Writing has healed every smear, cured every denouncement spoken
against me and has lifted me to heights I hadn’t ever imagined. This road that
I’m traveling has been paved with an abundance of love, the wealth of it overshadowing
everything else. My writing successes have been a blessing and I don’t ever take
that for granted.
I continue to be consumed by the tales that fuel my spirit, falling
in love with characters who bring me joy when I least expect. For me, being
able to write, to breathe life into a book is absolutely everything! I am
grateful to be so abundantly blessed.
